The
second aspect of the eight-fold path is living responsibly. We can achieve this
by being mindful of our communication, actions and livelihood.
Communication
Appropriate
communication is a big part of this path and can help us live a more
responsible life. Traditionally, there are four different aspects of this, and
they are refraining from lying, divisive speech, using abusive words and
gossiping.
I am
sure the majority of us wish to live in a kind and compassionate place where
people communicate wisely and appropriately, contributing to a more harmonious
world. We can go some way in achieving this by being truthful, using words that
bring us together, being polite and talking meaningfully. These are skilful
ways for us to connect with each other.
Of
course, we shouldn’t fool ourselves and think that we can always be truthful,
polite and meaningful. There are going to be occasions where it makes sense to
stretch the truth, talk harshly and spend time in idle chatter.
Not telling the truth
once
we have lied to someone, we invariably have to tell another lie to cover the
first one, and then another, and another, until we have created a web of lies.
It truly harms someone when they realise they have been lied to, and it will
harm us when we are branded a liar.
Some
say they lied so as not to hurt the other person’s feelings, but have you
considered how they will feel when they find out you lied? Maybe the truth is
painful or difficult to say, but there are various ways of breaking it to
someone. You can tell them in a kind and sympathetic way. You can support them
once you have told them the truth. What you do not have to do is charge in like
a bull in a china shop. However, it is kinder in the long run to tell someone
the truth.
I get
very upset when I have been lied to, as most people do, and so I keep this fact
in mind when I am talking to others.
Divisive
speech
When
people use divisive speech they are hell-bent on causing a severance between a
person and a group of people. Divisive speech is never positive or productive.
It is used only to harm.
This
type of speech mainly stems from jealousy, pride or hatred. I have come across
it several times in the workplace. A colleague has been promoted and some
people are jealous, so they try to split the workforce. This is divisive
speech.
You
are jealous of your sibling, so you tell divisive stories to your parents in
the hope they will favour you over your sibling. This is divisive speech.
When
I lived in London, before I was a monk, I had a large group of friends who used
to meet at least once a week to have some fun. One of the group members
introduced to us a very attractive woman he had gone to school with. Several of
the guys took a fancy to her and started to flirt. Several women took a dislike
to her because of her beauty and bubbly personality. All of them started to be
divisive. It eventually split the group and we stopped meeting. This is
divisive speech and shows how destructive it can be.
These
are just a few examples, but what is clear is that we must refrain from this
type of speech because it will harm others and eventually harm ourselves. You
will get a reputation for being someone who is always trying to cause trouble,
and people will disassociate themselves from you.
Harsh
Words
These
are swear words, bad language or words that are said only to cause harm. They
are never useful or kind, and usually stem from anger or impatience.
If
someone upsets us we can lose control and say things we do not really mean. The
words are meant to hurt the other person, but usually, after we have calmed
down, we regret them and the words come back to hurt us also. We must stay
mindful of our speech and not allow this to happen.
Sometimes
we get impatient with people when they are not doing what we want, they are
doing it wrong or just differently, they are not being open and truthful or
they are not doing anything and it is just us who is irritable. At these times
we tend to get angry and start saying harsh words. Obviously, the way around
this is to be more patient and have respect for other people’s viewpoints and
feelings.
Every
time you raise your voice or say harsh words, you have lost the argument. When
your voice goes up, your credibility comes down.
Gossiping
Gossip
stems from jealousy, hatred, aversion, ignorance or just having nothing better
to do with your time. It is very destructive, cruel and can never be classed as
helpful. At the time we may enjoy spreading some rumour or other, but just
think how you would feel if people were saying the same things about you.
Gossip
is both harmful and a waste of time. I do believe that social networking sites,
such as Twitter and Facebook, encourage such unhelpful and wasteful gossip. I
am not saying these sites are not of any use—I use them every day—but they can
be used wrongly and end up ruining someone’s reputation or career.
So,
the antidote to these four unhelpful ways of talking are: speak only truthful
words, words that spread harmony and not discord, words that are kind and
compassionate, words that help and not harm others.
I
understand that this isn’t always possible, so let’s look at some examples. If
a seriously ill person asked you if they are going to die and by telling them
the truth you would be making matters worse, it is better to lie to them and
allow them to have some peace. Maybe one of your friends has gotten in with the
wrong crowd, so you decide to speak divisively and try to break up the group.
Your young child is about to put their hand into a fire and out of compassion
you speak harshly to stop them. A work colleague is having a rough time and is
finding it hard to open up, so you indulge in idle chatter to win their trust,
so they can finally feel comfortable to talk about their problems.
All
these examples show that appropriate communication isn’t always black and
white. I think as a rule of thumb, we should ensure that if we do lie, are
divisive, talk harshly or gossip it is for the benefit of others and not just
for our own selfish gain.
The
final word I will give to Buddha, he said this is appropriate communication:
‘It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken
in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken
with a mind of goodwill’.
Action
Appropriate
action traditionally covers those actions we should refrain from. We are
advised to avoid violent acts, to refrain from taking what has not been given,
to limit our consumption of intoxicants and to refrain from causing harm
through sexual activity. However, I believe the concept of appropriate action
should cover all the actions we undertake in our lives. The more we can bring
mindfulness to our everyday actions the more our life improves and the impact
our life has on others will also grow.
Violent
Acts
This
doesn’t just cover violence towards humans; it also covers animals, big or
small. I should make it clear here that I am talking about intentional and/or unnecessary acts of
violence, which include killing as well as physically harming. We have to
understand that all beings have the equal right to live and be free from
suffering, so that is why we have to refrain from doing them any intentional
harm.
It is
very difficult to go through life without unintentionally killing or harming
things. When we wash vegetables, we are more than likely killing small insects,
but this is not our intention. Our intention is to prepare the vegetables for
eating, so this is not what I am talking about here. Having said that, we
should check the vegetables beforehand to ensure there are no insects on them.
Once
you get into the habit of killing, it is very hard to break that habit. You may
see a mosquito on your arm and squash it. You do the same the next time a
mosquito lands on you and the time after that. Eventually you do not even have
to look; you just automatically squash it. This is when the act of killing has
become a habit.
The
way to prevent ourselves from killing/harming is to understand that all beings
are the same as us. They want to be happy and not suffer. So, if we know this,
a feeling of compassion will rise in us and it will become much harder to
kill/harm.
Taking
what has not been given
If we
take something that has not been given or belongs to someone else, this is
stealing, no matter how big or small the item is.
The
first time we steal we may feel guilty and scared of being caught. However, the
more you steal the less guilty and scared you are. In the end you steal just
because you can and not because you need to. This is when stealing has become a
habit.
In Buddhism, we
talk about five factors relating to taking what has not been freely given and
they are: someone else’s belongings, the awareness that they are someone
else’s, the thought of theft, the action of carrying it out, the taking away as
a result of it. All five factors have to be in play for a theft to take place.
We
don’t like people stealing from us, so we should refrain from stealing from
them. Once we get the reputation of being a thief, it will be very hard for
people to trust us. So, by stealing we are hurting both ourselves and others.
Sexual
misconduct
This
is causing harm to someone by the use of the sexual act, such as rape, sex with
someone underage or sex with a married person—here the victim being the
person’s partner. If we physically, emotionally or mentally force someone into
sex, this is causing him or her harm and must be refrained from. There are many
people today still carrying the scars of sexual misconduct. So, this precept
should not be taken lightly.
It is important to keep in mind
that Buddha taught the precept on sexual misconduct to help us refrain from
harming someone through the sexual act. He did not teach it to be moralistic or
make people feel guilty for their sexual orientation.
Livelihood
This
is an important aspect of the path and one we probably do not give a lot of
thought to. We should aim to engage in compassionate activity and earn our
living in a way that does not cause harm and is ethically positive. Most
of us spend a large part of our waking hours at work, so it’s important to
assess how our work affects us and those around us. We need to work to earn
money, without money we cannot survive, this is an unavoidable fact of life.
But have you ever stopped to think whether your work is helping or harming?
Come to think about it, have you ever stopped to think what is an ethically
appropriate livelihood at all?
Do
you have an appropriate livelihood? It may not be as black and white as you
first think. You may sell guns to the army to keep the country safe, but those
guns could fall into the hands of a terrorist and be used to kill innocent
people. You may make cars, so people can get around, but one of those cars may
be involved in an accident and someone is killed. You may make rope and it is
used by someone to commit suicide. I know I have given extreme examples here,
but I just want to get you thinking about the consequences of your livelihood.
It
would be impossible to examine all the possible effects our work has in the
world, but we should certainly contemplate whether we are causing harm in any
obvious or direct ways, to humans, to animals, and to the planet.
I
recently met a young biologist and he had a dilemma. He had just graduated and
was looking for work, but every job he applied for required testing on animals.
He said he just couldn’t bring himself to kill animals, even if it meant he
might discover a new way to help humans. Our choices are not always clear cut,
we need to think very carefully about what path we decide to take. We should
consider the consequences, to ourselves and to others, of any choice we make.
I
fully understand that we need to work to earn money and sometimes we have to do
the jobs we find unpalatable. So, I am not being judgemental here. I am just
pointing out that we have to be mindful of our livelihoods, and reiterating the
fact that actions have consequences.
Pause here for a moment and give your livelihood some thought.
Is it ethical?
Am I forced to do things that go against my redlines?
Do I fully understand the consequences of my livelihood?
Living
responsibly highlights the importance of acting in an appropriate way
physically, verbally and psychologically. If we don’t, we can often
inadvertently cause conflict and bitterness amongst the people we come into
contact with. We must integrate this part of the path into our daily lives and
be constantly mindful of the actions we are carrying out.
The
key point about living responsibly is to have integrity. I find that the best
way for my actions to remain skilful is to keep the view of cause and
consequences in the forefront of my mind. Whenever a thought arises, I try to
gauge whether it will be helpful or harmful and what the consequences are going
to be. This is no easy task and requires us to be mindful of our thoughts.
When
we are being mindful it gives us the space to think before we act. An alert
mind has the opportunity to override unhelpful or destructive thoughts. It
brings awareness into whatever we are intending to do. This is how we can
ensure our actions are appropriate and skilful.
This ends the ‘living responsibly’ aspect of the eightfold path.
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In the first noble truth Buddha explained that there is suffering running through our lives from birth through to death. In the second truth he told us about some of the causes of this suffering, namely the three poisons. In the fourth truth, he explained what path we can take to start the process of destroying the three poisons. This path is known as the eight-fold path.
This is how Buddha described the eight-fold path:
‘And what, monks, is the noble truth of the path of practice leading to the cessation of desire? Just this very eight-fold path: appropriate view, appropriate intention, appropriate speech, appropriate action, appropriate livelihood, appropriate effort, appropriate mindfulness and appropriate concentration.’
This path is not a religious path and doesn’t require rituals, prayers, ceremonies, or even for you to become a Buddhist. It can be looked upon
as a path that leads
to us living a responsible life and so anybody can practise
it. So, it isn’t a Buddhist practice, it is more of a lifestyle practice.
The eightfold path comprises of three aspects and I will take each aspect
individually and explore the appropriate ways to approach the path. The first aspect is seeing clearly, which includes
view and intention.
View
So,
let’s start by looking at the view? The view refers to the understanding that
we cause most of our emotional suffering ourselves, the understanding that
everything is impermanent and the understanding that things happen due to
causes, which in turn lead to consequences. Here I will concentrate on the
understanding of cause and effect.
So, what do we
need to understand about cause and effect? It is important to understand that
our actions of body, speech and mind have consequences. You may think that, ‘I
understand that actions of body and speech have consequences, but how can our
thoughts?’ Before we do any action, it starts off as a thought – first we think
and then we act. This thought can be conscious or unconscious, but it is there
before any action. So, it is important to realise that our thoughts also have
consequences.
Whatever we do
and say will become a cause for our future conditions. I am not talking about
future lives here; I am talking about this life. We are the architects of our
future. This is how we should be thinking. We should not be thinking that our
lives are conditioned by some system of reward and punishment meted out by an
outside force. This way of thinking is just shirking our responsibilities. Of
course, it is easier to blame someone else for our problems, we love doing
that, but this will not help us bring about a change for the better in our
lives.
Put
simplistically, if we act in a kind, caring, helpful and compassionate way, we
will be helping to build a good future for ourselves. This is not some
metaphysical law; I am just stating the way life is. If we act in a bad way by
not caring for others, stealing, lying, cheating, killing and generally acting
in a harmful way, people are not going to want to be associated with us or help
us when we need it. This is the way of the world. Also, if we are a kind and
caring person our conscience will be clear, and this will also reduce our
emotional suffering and certainly help us during our meditation and mindful
awareness practices.
There is no
scientific evidence for this, but just look at your own experiences and I am
sure you will see that your actions have consequences. If you kill someone you
will be caught and sent to prison or put to death. However, if you are not
caught, you will have to carry the torment, anguish and guilt around with you
for the rest of your life, fearful every time the doorbell rings. Either way
there are consequences for your act of killing.
Having said that,
I am not suggesting that if we act in a good way the whole of our life is going
to be rosy. Unfortunately, that isn’t going to happen, but it will reduce the
chances of bad things happening. It will also put us in a better frame of mind
to be able to cope with these unfavourable situations when they arise.
We don’t live in
a bubble, so the actions of others are also going to affect us. Other people’s
causes and effects overlap our causes and effects until there is a huge web of
interconnected causes and effects. So, we have to remember that when something
unpleasant befalls us it is the result of a large number of causes. This will
stop us adding anger and frustration to an already difficult situation. It will
also prevent us from struggling with something that is beyond our control. This
will at the very least reduce some of our emotional suffering.
When we have the
appropriate view regarding cause and effect,
it encourages us to live an honourable life. This is a life where we take
responsibility for our actions.
Some people find
it hard to get to grips with cause and effect, so I suggest you sit quietly and
reflect on it. That way, you will understand that things can only come into
existence due to a cause or causes and not randomly or magically. Every cause
will ultimately have an effect. So, all of our actions of body, speech and mind
are going to have consequences. This should encourage us to act in a skilful
way.
Intention
The next element
of the path is intention. What I am talking about here is your motivation and
conditioning, as it is these forces that move us into doing actions with our
bodies, speech or minds.
This
element is divided into three sections and Buddha explained it this way:
‘And what, monks, is appropriate intention? intentions of letting go, Intentions of freedom from ill will, intentions of harmlessness. This, monks, is called appropriate intention.’
Letting go
The first section
is sometimes talked about as renunciation, giving something up, rejecting or
abandoning, but I think a better way to describe this is the act of letting go.
What we are trying to let go of is attachment to, or craving for, sensual
objects.
I personally
believe renunciation is never going to work. The more we try to renounce
something, the more we get ourselves entangled in it. If you are fighting
something, you are giving it power. So, in that way, for me, renunciation will
not work. This is why I say let it go, because by doing that you are giving it
no power and it will begin to disappear on its own. What I mean by letting
things go is that we don’t get ourselves ensnared by over thinking, judging,
comparing or criticising, we don’t engage the desire, we allow it to arise, we
acknowledge it, let it pass and we move on. Of course, that is easier said than
done but this is where our mindfulness practices help a lot. If we are present
with our thoughts, we will catch the desire as it arises. This gives us the
opportunity to follow the desire or let it go.
Clinging to
desires is one of the origins of our emotional suffering, but when we try to
let things go, a strong feeling inside stops us from succeeding. This happens
because we are so attached to our desires. It is never easy to suddenly just
let them go, but it certainly is not impossible.
If we believe
sensual objects are going to give us true happiness, we will start clinging to
them and this will in turn shape our thoughts and actions. We will become
attached and our emotional suffering will begin.
It takes time to
change our perceptions and it is not going to be easy. We have to slowly start
chipping away at our clinging attachment to sensual objects, whether it is to
people or belongings. Step by step we reduce their hold on us.
How do we let our
clinging desires go? There are several ways, but I believe the best one is to
contemplate impermanence. By doing
thisyou begin to realise the
impermanence of things, you understand that everything is temporary and there
is nothing solid to get attached to. So, when a clinging desire arises you do
not have to hold on to it, you can let it go. Just keep reminding yourself
that, ‘This is temporary and will pass.’
Freedom from ill-will
This is when we
do not have any thoughts of causing others harm.
Ill-will stems
from clinging to our ego and can arise when we are unhappy with someone,
jealous, have too much pride, anger, have an aversion towards someone and so
on. For example, when someone, such as our friend, partner or family member has
hurt us, and we start wishing bad things to happen to them. Ill-will is often
an emotional reaction. It doesn’t necessarily follow that we will act upon our
ill-will, but as our actions are driven by our thoughts, the potential is
always there to do so.
The best way to
liberate ourselves from ill-will is to foster the thought that other people,
just like us, are fighting against the physical and emotional suffering running
through their lives. They also want to be free of this emotional suffering and
want only peace of mind. If we think like this, it will cause goodwill to arise
within us. So, caring for others’ feelings and showing them genuine warmth
replaces ill-will with a sense of compassion and kindness.
Now when I talk
about caring for others, I am not talking about sympathy or pity, but real
empathy. This is when we put ourselves in other people’s shoes and truly
understand that they wish to be treated kindly and with warmth. They too are
struggling to make sense of their lives.
These days, we
tend to ration our kindness to people we are friendly with. This way of acting
can be selfish and goes part of the way to explain why there is so much
ill-will in the world today. You need look no further than the vile comments
people post on social media or how some politicians talk about each other to
see an all too common manifestation of ill-will.
So, how do we go
beyond ill-will and build a feeling of goodwill towards others? One way is to
do the following practice, which is a reflection on kindness and is split into
three parts, which embraces three types of people we encounter in life: those
we are friendly with, those we are not friendly with and the biggest group by
far, those we do not care about one way or another. The point of this practice
is to open our minds and build friendliness towards all three types of people.
Start by sitting comfortably and lightly
closing your eyes. Focus your awareness on the breath flowing in and out of
your nose. Don’t change the breath in any way, just let it flow naturally.
Now, start reflecting on your friends. This is
the easiest way to begin because you already have a certain amount of warmth
towards them. Think of a close friend and start to reflect on their positive
qualities and their acts of kindness. A note of caution here: try not to use
someone you are sexually attracted to because kindness could quite easily turn
into lust. It is also recommended that you do not use the same person each time
or else you may get attached to them.
By reflecting on your friend’s good qualities
and kindness, positive feelings will arise. Once this has occurred, you should
move away from reflecting on your friend and concentrate on your feelings that
have arisen. These feelings should be your primary focus. They should be
feelings of warmth and empathy. Spend some time being aware of this warmth and
see how happy and peaceful it makes you feel.
Keeping the above feelings in mind, move on to
the next type of person, someone you dislike. Picture this person in your mind
and examine him or her closely. See the person’s pain, suffering, loneliness
and insecurity. See that all he or she really wants is to have a peaceful mind.
Now start to radiate the same feelings you had for your friend towards the
person you dislike. Project all the respect, warmth and kindness that you can
muster.
Finally, picture a person you pass by everyday
but do not care about one way or another. Again, feel this person’s pain and
see how all he or she is looking for is peace of mind. Radiate your warmth and
kindness towards this person and imagine how that makes him or her feel, and in
turn, how you feel.
This is a simple
way of cultivating respect and warmth for everybody, regardless of whether you
know them or not, whether you like them or not. Remember, though, that this is
not a reflective exercise that you do only in the privacy of your home. It
should be applied to your daily life so that you cultivate a friendly and open
attitude towards everyone without discrimination. That of course includes
yourself, so if you are feeling a bit low or your self-compassion needs a
boost, you can start this practice by radiating warmth and kindness towards
yourself.
Harmlessness
You should now
have started to have feelings of goodwill towards others. These feelings should
move you towards actions that are not harmful. Remember, our mind controls our
actions, so feelings of goodwill should lead to more skilful actions.
Everybody wishes
to be free of emotional suffering but are often gripped by discontentment,
anguish, unease, dissatisfaction and other kinds of suffering. People have
their own private suffering, but we should understand that we also play a part
in that suffering by not showing compassion for them, by not caring for their
well-being and by not seeing that, they, like us are trying to free themselves
from all forms of suffering and have peace of mind.
There are various
reflections that you can practice that will help you start developing
compassion for others.
Do these
reflections on the three types of people mentioned in the goodwill section.
However, this time choose people who you know are suffering, and radiate
compassion towards them.
Again, start your reflection on a friend who
you know is going through a rough time. Reflect on that person’s suffering
directly and then reflect on how, like yourself, your friend wants to be free
from pain. You should continue this reflection until a strong feeling of
compassion arises within you.
Remember, compassion is not pity or sympathy,
but is a form of empathy. Pity and sympathy stem from our own emotions, which
are not stable or reliable. Whereas empathy is where you put yourself into
another person’s shoes and feel what they are feeling. The beauty of this is
that you are not projecting your thoughts and prejudices but are actually seeing
things from another person’s point of view.
Once you start experiencing a strong feeling
of compassion for your friend, hold onto it and use it as a standard for the
same practice we will now do as we reflect on the two other types of people.
Think of a person you know who is suffering,
but whom you dislike, and then reflect on their suffering. See the world
through their eyes, try and understand what they are going through. Try to
genuinely feel their pain and suffering. Once you have achieved this, start
radiating the powerful feeling of compassion you felt before.
When you feel such strong compassion for a
person, it is difficult to dislike them anymore because you now understand that
they feel suffering, just like you.
Next, think of a person you really have no
feelings for one way or another. Start reflecting on how they also have causes
for pain, sorrow, anguish and dissatisfaction. Again, once you have truly felt
their pain, start radiating compassion towards them. This exercise helps you
realise that we are all prone to suffer in the same way, and there really are
no strangers in this world.
By doing these
reflections, you will slowly be able to open your mind and expand your
compassion towards more people in your world. You will start to see that all of
us are the same. By doing this reflection you are not necessarily going to be
able to directly ease another’s suffering, but you are going to be more open to
doing so, as your compassion for them grows.
This ends the ‘seeing clearly’ aspect of the eightfold path.
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The first
noble truth describes how life has suffering running through it and in the
second truth Buddha gave some of the reasons for this suffering. There is not
just one cause of our suffering, as there is not one cause of anything. Things
come into being through a series of causes and conditions, and that is the same
for our suffering. However, there are three main things that cause us emotional
and psychological suffering, namely, the three poisons. They are clinging
desire, anger and aversion and unawareness.
In the Dhammapada it states:
‘The one who protects his mind from clinging desire, anger and aversion and unawareness, is the one who enjoys real and lasting peace’.
Clinging Desire
Not all of
our desires cause us suffering; only the ones we cling to. We may have a desire
to help people, a desire to reduce our suffering or to improve ourselves. As
long as we are not clinging to these desires there is no problem.
So, desire
on its own isn’t the problem. The problem is our clinging and grasping at the
things we desire. We wrongly believe that material things and people, such as
family, friends and loved ones, can make us permanently and truly happy.
However, if we take the time to investigate, we will find that these desires
eventually lead us into a feeling of discontentment, sadness and loss. Why is
that? It is because we have grown attached to the people we love or the things
we own. Again, there is not a problem with loving the people close to us; the
suffering starts once we get attached to them, believe they will be with us
forever and their thoughts and feelings for us will never change. This simply
isn’t the case.
You can
test this theory out. Think of a time when someone not very close to you died.
How did you feel? I expect you expressed your condolences but didn’t have too
much sadness. Now think of a time when a member of your family, a friend or a
loved one died. How did you feel? I expect you were devastated and extremely
upset for a long time. So, what is the difference between these two deaths?
Attachment. You were not attached to the first person and so did not suffer a
lot when they died, but you were attached to the second person, and your
clinging attachment is what caused you so much suffering.
We get
attached to our belongings and believe they make us happy. We think we can buy
happiness. The problem with that is our desires are never ending. Once we have
something new, we start wanting something else. We never quite manage to buy
the happiness we are so desperately seeking because there is no happiness
inherent in material things. We just project happiness onto an object and then
cling and grasp at this imaginary happiness, and we eventually suffer once the
object is stolen or stops working.
There is
no problem in wanting things and trying to make our lives more comfortable; the
problem is clinging and grasping at these desires. So do not stop loving the
people close to you or stop wanting to improve your life believing Buddha told
us to do that—he didn’t.
Our
clinging desires lead us to act in certain ways, such as being proud, jealous
and protective, and this in turn leads to our discontentment. This is because
our clinging desires lead us into action, which in turn leads us into
discontentment. It is a vicious cycle. Buddha said:
‘From desire action follows; from action discontentment follows; desire, action and discontentment are like a wheel rotating endlessly’.
To break
this cycle, we have to see that clinging, grasping and getting attached to
people and material objects brings us suffering because things are compounded
and are subject to change. If we can truly embrace this point and apply it to
our daily lives, we will be able to reduce the suffering caused by this poison.
Buddha stated, ‘Human desires
are endless. It is like the thirst of a man who drinks saltwater: he gets no
satisfaction and his thirst is only increased.’ This is surely something we
should be reflecting on.
Anger
and Aversion – Aversion is the opposite to attachment and
anger leads to hatred, discrimination, aggression and a lack of compassion. None
of these are helpful. With desire we want to cling to objects, but with
aversion we do the exact opposite. We spend all our time and energy trying to
push the thing away we do not like. As with desire, we just need to let go, not
hold on to this aversion. Don’t engage with it, hold it or repress it – simply
acknowledge you have an aversion for it, understand that it is causing harm to
yourself and others and find a way of letting it go.
Buddha said this about anger:
‘This fury does so cloud the mind of man that he cannot discern this fearful inner danger’.
Some say that anger is
natural and should be expressed at all costs. This is because most people only
see two ways of dealing with anger, that is, express or repress. Both are
unhealthy. If you constantly express it, you will find that after some time it
will become a habit and you will react angrily all of the time. If you repress
it, you are just storing up trouble for the future. You may be able to keep it
down for some time, but eventually it will surface and may even come back more
violent and hurtful.
Anger is such a destructive
emotion because we engage with it and let it take control of us. So, the Buddha
had a different idea. He advised us to look at the anger and see where it comes
from. It is not to be dealt with but observed. If we do this, we will see that
it stems from our exaggerating the negative qualities of someone or projecting
negative qualities that are not actually there, on to someone or something.
Two of the best ways of
counteracting anger is patience and acceptance.
Patience—This
is something we should cultivate. The best advice is to try and walk away from
the situation that is making you angry. If you cannot do that, then you should
not react straight away, but should first try counting to ten and spend a
little time reflecting on the situation. This will give you the space to calm
down and see things more rationally. Of course, this is not a simple thing to
do when one is wrapped up in the moment, and this is where patience comes in.
The most hurtful things are said in the heat of the moment, so defuse that
moment with patience.
You
could try watching your breath for a moment, use your senses to engage with
what you can see, hear, smell, taste and touch or you could try reciting the
word patience over and over again. All of these will give you a chance to calm
down and build patience.
There is no evil like anger, and no courageousness like patience.
Acceptance—This
is accepting that people are the same as we are. Everyone is struggling to find
their way in life. We strive for happiness, and so does everyone else. If we
think in this way, a feeling of warmth, empathy and compassion will arise in
us. If we are empathic or compassionate towards others, it is harder to get
angry at them. This, again, takes time to master but is something we are all
capable of.
Unawareness
Unawareness
is a lack of understanding of the true nature of things, which leads us into
wrong views. Buddha stated:
‘Because of their unawareness, people are always thinking wrong thoughts and always losing the right viewpoint and, clinging to their egos, they take wrong actions. As a result, they become attached to a delusive existence’.
As
we are unaware of the true nature of the world, we start clinging to objects,
people and ourselves, which leads to wrong actions and causes us to grow
attached to our perception of reality.
Impermanence
is something we understand on an intellectual level, but it is not how we live
our lives. That is because we are unaware of the true implications of
impermanence.
Whatever is
born is impermanent and is bound to die.
Whatever is stored up is impermanent and is bound to run out.
Whatever comes together is impermanent and is bound to come apart.
Whatever is built is impermanent and is bound to collapse.
Whatever rises up is impermanent and is bound to fall down.
So also, friendship and enmity, fortune and sorrow, good and evil,
All the thoughts that run through your mind – everything is always changing.
(Taken from ‘Words of My Perfect Teacher’ by Patrul Rinpoche)
All compounded things are impermanent and if we
look closely, everything is compounded. So, everything is impermanent. This may
seem negative or depressing but actually it is a breath of fresh air. Let me
explain.
The definition of compounded is ‘something that
consists of two or more things combined together.’ As I have just stated, all
phenomena are compounded, and that includes you and me. Just think for a
moment, is there anything in this universe that isn’t compounded? As of yet we
haven’t found anything.
The point Buddha was making here is that anything
that is made up of a combination of other things will eventually fall apart. It
will come into being when the various causes and conditions are right, it will
exist for a certain amount of time, and then it will disintegrate – this is the
nature of all things, this is impermanence. It is an undeniable and inescapable
fact of life.
Impermanence isn’t a word we readily warm to, and
it would be much nicer for us to believe that everything is permanent. But this
simply isn’t true, and in order to stop our suffering, we need to acknowledge
this fact. The reason we do not like to hear about impermanence is because it
brings up visions of sickness, pain, disintegration and death. We get a
horrible sick feeling in our stomachs because we equate impermanence with loss
– loss of a loved one, loss of our friends or even loss of something as trivial
as our iPhone. So, it is vitally important for all of us to understand
impermanence.
Why is it important? What are the benefits of understanding it? It means we
will achieve freedom from fear, freedom from suffering and freedom from panic,
because when we know things are not going to last, we are free from any fear,
agony or pain of losing something or someone.
Our mistaken belief is that things come into
existence on their own, and last forever. This kind of mistaken belief causes
us to cling to worldly possessions, such as material objects, the search for
pleasure, recognition, honour and so on. It causes pride, attachment, aversion
and arrogance to grow within us because we truly believe things are here to
stay. We grow completely attached to the concerns of this life.
So, it’s a relief when we finally understand that
everything is impermanent, and we can’t do a thing to change that fact. We can
now let go and relax our grip on things – that’s a real breath of fresh air!
Impermanence is not only true for pleasurable things,
but for painful things as well. Maybe someone you care for has died or left
you, and you are sad and lonely. These emotions are also impermanent and so
will, after time, also change. All the things we have aversion towards will
only last a short time. Like the morning dew, it will all soon change and
disappear.
Like the dew that remains
for a moment or two
On the tips of the grass and then melts with the dawn.
The pleasures we find in the course of our lives
last only an instant, they cannot endure.
(Taken from ‘Thirty-Seven Practices of All Buddha’s Sons’ by Thogme Zangpo)
So, the first noble truth stated that there is suffering flowing through our lives, and the second truth explains some of the causes. In the third truth Buddha explains that there is freedom from suffering.
This truth is called by
various names, such as nirvana, liberation, enlightenment and so on. It is
hotly debated these days. Some think that if you reach nirvana you will never
be born again, others think you will be reborn, but you can pick where. For
people who do not believe in rebirth, they see it as something we can achieve
in this lifetime. I have no idea who is right and who is wrong – it maybe they
are all wrong.
People think that nirvana is
like heaven, full of happiness, the opposite of this world. They image that
there, the sun shines brightly every day, only ‘good’ people are around, one
doesn’t have to work, there are no money worries, everybody is friendly, and
every moment is filled with happiness.
However, this is just a
projection of our dualistic minds, trying to fill heaven with all the things we
like best. But what about all the things other people like and we don’t? I
would want a heaven where no one eats meat, while others would want one where
they could eat a big fat juicy steak every day. Do we each get a heaven of our
own? I believe if people really gave some thought to their concept of heaven,
they would understand they were just changing one conditioned world for
another. That way, heaven, like this world, would be equally impermanent.
I am just going to give my
own thoughts here and you can decide for yourselves what you believe. I will
show you that there are two good bits of news in this third noble truth.
I feel that the best word to describe this third truth is awakening. We awaken from the sleep of unawareness. I do not see the process of awakening as some mystical or metaphysical thing.
Buddha said that awakening is the ‘highest happiness’, but he wasn’t talking about the mundane happiness we strive for in our everyday lives. He was talking about absolute freedom from unskillfulness, freedom from craving, attachment, desire, hatred and unawareness. All of this we can achieve in this lifetime by truly understanding the four noble truths and following the eightfold path. Once we start meditating on these teachings and turning them from knowledge to wisdom, we will start to change our actions of body, speech and mind.
This state of being awake can
be reached by anyone, whether they call themselves Buddhist or not, in this
very lifetime – you just have to put the effort and hard work in. That’s the
first bit of good news.
The second bit of good news
is we do not have to die to become awakened. It can be obtained during this
lifetime. Death is irrelevant to this process. People feel like this life is
full of discontentment and causes them nothing but suffering, and the only way
out is death. They feel at death they will be miraculously transported to a
better place. But the third truth is not talking about a place; it is the
cessation of the three poisons, namely, desire, anger and aversion and
unawareness. The Buddha defined it as ‘perfect peace’, or a state of mind that
is free from craving, anger and other afflictive states. We can find this
perfect peace in this body, on this planet and in this lifetime.
I honestly believe the third
truth isn’t talking about a metaphysical thing, it isn’t a place to go to and
we do not have to die to realise it. We just need to put in a huge amount of
effort so we can extinguish our afflictive states of mind.
I will leave you to reflect on this third truth, so you can decide which version makes the most sense to you.
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Buddha‘s
first teaching was on the four noble truths, and it still remains the very
foundation on which Buddhism is built. It was these four realities that the Buddha came to
understand during his meditation under the bodhi tree, and they provide a
conceptual framework for all of Buddhist thought.
The
first reality is ‘There is suffering.’ The word suffering here means a
dissatisfaction, discontentment, an uneasy feeling running through our lives.
This suffering can be divided into three parts, namely, the suffering of pain,
the suffering of happiness and the all-pervasive suffering.
The
suffering of pain is easy for us to understand, as it is our daily suffering.
It is when we have a headache, cold, hangover and so on. This is physical
suffering.
The
second suffering is the suffering of happiness. Now this one is a bit harder
for us to understand. When we are happy, we never think about suffering, but it
is there just lurking around the corner. Let’s look at some examples:
You
buy a new iPhone and you are so happy. You show it to your family and friends
who are envious. You take this phone everywhere with you and use it every day
to play games, surf the net, look at social media, watch films and so on. You
could not be happier. Then one day you can’t find it. It has been stolen. Now
that happiness you had has changed into sadness – this is the suffering of
happiness.
Nothing
in life is permanent and so will eventually change. It is this change that
brings on the second type of suffering. It isn’t that phenomena have inherent
suffering within them, it is because we get attached to things and when change
arrives, we become sad, discontented and this is the suffering of happiness.
So, I am not saying happiness is suffering. While happiness is here, we enjoy
but once the happiness starts to wear off, we start to suffer.
The third suffering is the all-pervasive suffering. This type of suffering is within everything in our lives, but because it is suffering on a subtle level, we are prone to missing it. This type of suffering is a condition that exists because of how we perceive ourselves in relation to the world. So, you could say that our entire worldly experience is a definition of suffering that we cannot even see.
So
how do we see ourselves and the world? Well, we see them as separate – I’m here
and the world is outside of me. In other words, as subject and object. So, the
way we look at things, subject and object, me and everything else, is in some
way the cause of our suffering that will come to us in the future. It is like
eating a wonderful meal but not knowing it has been poisoned. Whilst we are
eating the food, we are happy, but later, once the poison starts to work, we
suffer.
Another
cause of this all-pervasive suffering is seeing ourselves as a solid,
independent self and thinking that this self is how we experience the world. Buddha
taught that this is not the case, and we are actually the coming together of
five things, namely, the five aggregates.
The
aggregates are form, feeling, conception, mental formation and consciousness.
Form, or matter, corresponds to physical factors and not only includes our
own bodies, but also the material objects that surround us. It includes the
five physical sense organs and their corresponding physical objects. The five
physical sense organs are eye, ear, nose, tongue and body. Their corresponding
objects are visible form, sound, smell, taste and touch.
Feeling is the second aggregate and it can be divided into three different
types of experience, namely pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. One of these three
are present in every moment-to-moment experience.
There
are six kinds of experience, five physical and one mental. The experiences
happen when your eye contacts with a visible form, your ear with sound, your
nose with smell, your tongue with taste and your body with any other tangible
object. These are the five physical experiences. The mental experience is when
your mind is in contact with mental objects, such as ideas, hopes, wishes and
thoughts.
Our
feelings are extremely important as, in the end, they determine what we
experience and how we respond. We all want good feelings and try to avoid bad
feelings. However, because we cling desperately to happy times, we become sad
and disillusioned when they end.
The
third aggregate is conception, and this
is where we attach a name to an experience. Here, we formulate a conception of
an idea about the object we perceive. The purpose of this aggregate is to
analyse and investigate. When we come into contact with an object, our
conception aggregate categorises it by shape, colour, motion, location, sex and
other such categories. These concepts can come from parents, school, society,
friends and other social groups. Everything we have learnt or are learning form
our concepts.
The
fourth aggregate is mental formation. It
is the impression created by previous actions. This aggregate starts in the
mind and is then reflected in our body and speech. That means whatever action
we do is part of this aggregate.
Maybe
a better way to call this aggregate is mental formation and volition. Volition
is the capability of conscious choice, decision and intention. So, the mental
formation stems from our past, and volition, from the present moment. Both
function together to determine our response to an object of experience. These
responses have moral consequences in the sense of skilful, unskilful and
neutral acts.
The
final aggregate is consciousness, which
is very powerful. From this stem the third and fourth aggregates. It is mere
awareness of an object. When the eyes and a visible object come into contact,
the eye consciousness will become associated with that object and visual
consciousness will arise. It is the same with all the six consciousnesses.
It
should be noted that consciousness is not personal experience, but merely
awareness of an object. Personal experiences are produced through the
functioning of the feeling, conception and the mental formation aggregates.
These aggregates turn mere awareness into a personal experience.
Let’s
put this all together. Your eyes see the form. Your consciousness becomes aware
of it. Your conception identifies it. A pleasant, unpleasant or neutral feeling
arises. Your mental formation makes you respond to it with a conditioned
reaction, stemming from your past. So, for example, you are walking down the
street and see a car you like driving by – this is the form aggregate. Your
eyes become aware of it – this is the consciousness aggregate. You perceive it
as a car – this is the conception aggregate. You feel happy, unhappy or neutral
– this is the feeling aggregate. If you feel happy you may stop and stare, if
you dislike it you may turn away and if you are neutral you just carry on your
way without another thought – this is the mental formation aggregate.
Buddha
called them the five clinging aggregates, and this is where the problem comes
for us. We cling to these aggregates as though they are the self – a solid and
permanent you. When these five aggregates come together, we experience the
world, but when they disperse we stop experiencing the world. He also taught us
that there is absolutely no experience other than these five aggregates. These
aggregates are ever-changing and so there really isn’t anything solid for us to
cling to. When we try to cling to them as a permanent self we suffer, and this
is what Buddha was pointing out in the first noble truth.
The
reason he taught the first noble truth was to help us understand that we have a
problem. If we don’t know we have a problem we will not look for a solution. It
is the same as if we don’t know we are sick we will not go to the doctor. If we
know we are sick we go to the doctor and he tells us what is making us sick and
gives us medicine to cure it. It is the same here. If we know we are suffering,
we will look for the cause and the cure, which are the other three noble
truths. It is extremely important to fully understand this first noble truth.
If we do understand it, we will be able to move on to the next noble truth –
the cause of our suffering.
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I have been asked on numerous
occasions to lay out, in an understandable manner, the teachings of Buddha. So,
over the coming months I will articulate the Buddha dharma in an order that I
hope you will find both informative and easy to understand and implement. I am
going to begin with the five precepts.
Gautama Buddha said:
‘Now, there are these five gifts, five great gifts—original, long-standing, traditional, ancient, unadulterated, unadulterated from the beginning—that are not open to suspicion, will never be open to suspicion, and are unfaulted by knowledgeable contemplatives and Brahmans.’
So,
what five gifts was he talking about? He was talking about the five precepts.
The precepts are the gateway into Buddha dharma.
They are like the training wheels on a kid’s bike. That doesn’t mean they’re
elementary and easy to do, because they’re not. They are also not commandments
and we are not being told ‘thou shalt not’ do something. They are more like
guidelines that will help keep us on the straight and narrow. If we follow
these guidelines, we will not bring harm to ourselves and others. These
guidelines are undertaken so we can work towards reducing our suffering and the
suffering of all beings – this is a theme that runs all the way through the
Buddha dharma. If
we really want to be a responsible person within society, we have to ensure we
are not harming anyone or anything. These five precepts will help us achieve
that goal.
I have told this story before, but
I believe it is helpful to mention it again. When I first decided to become a
Buddhist monk, I was given these five precepts and told to hold them for six
months. After six months I had to return to my teacher and discuss how I got
on. Only after that was I allowed to take my full vows. I found them easy to
understand, but not so easy to keep on a day to day basis. I would recite them
before I got out of bed each morning as a kind of a mental reminder and to set
my intention for the day. If I strayed during the day, which I invariably did,
I would retake the precepts and strengthen my resolve not to break them again. Having
this experience has helped me understand how hugely important these precepts
are, and what a great springboard into the Buddha dharma they are.
The precepts are:
Refrain from taking life
Refrain from false speech
Refrain from taking what has not been freely given
Refrain from harming others with the sexual act
Refrain from intoxicants and illegal drugs
The Dhammapada (verses 246–247) explain the
precepts in this way:
‘One who destroys life, who speaks untruth, who takes what is not given, who goes to another man’s wife or woman’s husband, who gives himself/herself to drinking intoxicating liquors, he/she, even in this world, digs up his/her own root.’
So, let’s go through each precept individually, but
bear in mind these are my interpretations and may differ from a more
traditional approach. I have tried to make the precepts relevant to today’s
world and I have also added my own personal perspective. As with all Buddha
dharma, you will have to decide for yourself what does or doesn’t work for you.
Refrain from taking
life
This one seems obvious, but it means more than not
killing other humans; it includes all sentient beings. It also covers
refraining from getting others to kill on your behalf.
For me this goes much further than just killing. I
personally believe it covers not eating meat, mindlessly killing insects,
picking flowers and cutting trees. It means being mindful of all of Mother
Nature’s inhabitants and their contributions to our ecosystem. I believe we
should reflect before we chop down a tree, pick a flower or squash a bug.
Remember, all actions have consequences, some may be seen and others unseen,
but there will be a consequence somewhere down the line.
Everything on our planet has an intention for
living, being peaceful, happy and not suffering and their lives are just as
crucial as our own when it comes to maintaining our world.
This precept, for me, means not causing harm to humans,
animals, plants and all other living things.
It
is talking about intentional killing and not unintentional killing. It is impossible
to go through life without unintentionally killing things. If you go for a
pleasant walk across some fields, you will be unintentionally killing small
insects. Your intention was to go for a walk, it wasn’t to kill insects, so
this precept is not talking about that. Having said that, we must be careful
wherever we walk and make sure we don’t mindlessly step on insects.
On a personal note, this precept is
talking
about not killing or harming things, and so I find it hard to accept the fact
that we are breeding animals, keeping them captive and then killing them for
food. Eating meat and adhering to this precept are not compatible. I understand
this precept is a guideline and not a commandment, but I would ask you to
please spare the animal a thought and try to work towards becoming a vegetarian
or vegan.
Refrain
from false speech
Words hold power and using them carelessly can
cause destruction. Do not say anything until you mentally
confirm it to be true, helpful and kind. Don’t gossip, exaggerate or lie.
Instead, practice responsible honesty with only good intentions. Dedicate
yourself to loyalty and share only useful and credible news and information.
Once
we have lied to someone, we invariably have to tell another lie to cover the
first one, and then another, and another, until we have created a web of lies. Before
we know it, we have unwittingly become a liar and that is a label that is
difficult to shake off.
I
know that people say they lied so as not to hurt the other person’s feelings,
but do they consider how that person will feel when they find out they have
been lied to? Maybe the truth is painful or difficult to say, but it is
possible to say it in a kind and sympathetic way. You can support them once you
have told them the truth. I believe, it is always kinder in the long run to
tell someone the truth.
On
a personal note, I get upset when I have been lied to, as most people do, and
so I keep this fact in mind when I am talking to others.
Refrain from taking what has not been freely given
Do not take
what has not been given to you, whether it’s materialistic, opportunistic or
emotional. There are a number of activities that are considered stealing,
including participating in underhand deals, fraudulent activities, cheating or
committing forgery. Borrowing another person’s belongings without permission is
also considered forms of stealing.
If we take something that has not been given or belongs
to someone else, this is stealing. It may be a pen from work, a magazine from
the doctor’s waiting room or fruit from someone’s orchard. No matter how big or
small, it is still stealing.
We
seem to have accepted certain forms of stealing and do not see it as a problem.
I am talking about taking things from our place of work, such as stationery
items from an office, bread or milk from a catering establishment and nuts and
bolts from a factory. We shouldn’t fool ourselves: these things have not been
given to us, and so it is stealing.
Again,
on a personal note, I believe taking eggs from chickens and milk from cows
constitutes taking what has not been freely given. The animal has had no choice
in this process and so I feel it is a form of stealing. As I have said before,
these precepts are not hard and fast rules, so you have to see how far you are
willing to go to adhere to them. I am just giving my own personal view point
here and you are free to take it or leave it..
Refrain from harming others with the sexual act
Generally
speaking, this precept refers to committing sexual indiscretions such as
adultery, rape, incest and sex with a minor. If we physically, emotionally or mentally force
someone into sex, this is causing him or her harm. There are many people today
still carrying the scars of sexual misconduct. So, this precept should not be
taken lightly.
I
personally believe that Gautama Buddha taught the precept on sexual misconduct
to help us refrain from harming someone through the sexual act. He did not
teach it to be moralistic or make people feel guilty for their sexual
orientation. If the sexual act is not going to
cause harm it should be consensual, affectionate, loving and not break any
marriage vow or commitment. It does not have anything to do with sexual
orientation. We
cannot choose our sexual orientation, as we cannot choose our race or gender,
so it is cruel to penalise someone for something out of his or her control.
I think another
aspect of this precept that should be looked at whilst considering sexual
misconduct is people trafficking, that is, taking people and forcing them to
enter the sex industry. It is estimated that around 1.2 million children are
forced into prostitution or pornography, and their average age is between
twelve and fourteen years old. The human suffering in the trafficking industry
is staggering.
Refrain from intoxicants and illegal drugs
The last precept
is to avoid abusive use of alcohol and avoid illegal drugs altogether, as well
as other substances that impact mindfulness and fuel irresponsibility.
I
have deliberately put ‘abusive use’ of alcohol because I believe drinking in
moderation is not a problem. Nobody is saying you cannot have a glass of wine
with dinner or a pint after work. What is being said is that when we are
completely inebriated, we lose control of our body, speech and mind. This
precept is quite often the cause of the previous four precepts, so is very
important to adhere to.
You
may be driving home under the influence of drink or illegal drugs and have an
accident and kill someone; you may steal money to cover our drink or drug
addiction; come out with a pack of lies because you have no control over your
mouth; or have unsafe sex with someone you met in a bar, not even considering
that you or they may be married, underage or haven’t consented.
Alcohol
and illegal drugs are very additive and can destroy your life and the lives of
those around you. So, it is important to ensure we don’t lose control of our
thought processes because we are under the influence of drink and drugs.
These are the guidelines Buddha advised us to follow and I believe they are of great help to us in life and on our path to follow the Buddha dharma. It goes without saying that we will fall short sometimes, but that is all part and parcel of the learning process. If you fall, get up and try again. Don’t give up. The more we try to adhere to these precepts, the more they will become a habit, and those habits will eventually become our behaviour, who we are. We all need boundaries in life, and I think these five are a wonderful starting point.
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