In this third part of the Mangala Sutra, we will look at the Social Principles.
These social principles take us further into our journey of becoming more responsible and reducing our mental suffering. By implementing these principles, we will also be reducing the suffering of those around us. This is not a selfish journey; it is one that helps us gain compassion for others. But gaining compassion isn’t enough. We have to reflect on the principles and put what we learn into practice. So, these following principles cover kindness, empathy, and responsibility.
Be Generous
This played a big part in Buddha’s teachings, and he mentioned it on numerous occasions. One such time he talked about the fruits of giving:
‘If beings knew, as I know, the fruit of sharing gifts, they would not enjoy their use without sharing them, nor would the taint of stinginess obsess the heart and stay there. Even if it were their last bite, their last morsel of food, they would not enjoy its use without sharing it if there were anyone to receive it’.
So, what are the fruits of being generous? For the giver, they help foster a clear conscience; help you build a good future; and make you compassionate and a respected person within society. It also gives you a great feeling of warmth, pleasure, and satisfaction. Many people think we shouldn’t receive anything in return for giving, but I believe this is not being totally honest. If you give a gift to a child and the child smiles warmly at you, you are going to feel happy inside. If you take a sick person to a hospital, he or she is going to be grateful, and you will feel that you have done a good deed. So, it is true that we receive something from giving, and there is no shame in that.
Young man helping an old man
However, we shouldn’t give just to receive these things. They should be looked upon as a by-product and not the purpose for giving.
One of the key things generosity does is prevent us from becoming miserly. It gives us temporary relief from the pain of selfishness and stops us from becoming totally wrapped up in ourselves. When we are miserly, we worry day and night about our wealth and belongings. We go to great lengths to protect them. We can’t sleep at night worrying if someone will break in and steal them. We grow to mistrust others, and our mind is disturbed from the pressure of protecting our wealth. The miser is so scared of losing his wealth that he hordes it. Buddha said:
‘What the miser fears, that keeps him from giving, is the very danger that comes when he doesn’t give’.
How true is that?
So, a miser lives in fear of his wealth, but to what end? When we die, we are not able to take anything with us, so isn’t it nicer to give things away whilst we are alive? I am not talking about giving everything away and living as a pauper. But there is only so much wealth and belongings we need or can use.
If we do give, we have to be careful that our generosity stems from compassion and not from pride. Our intention and motivation are extremely important here. If you are giving just to get thanks or praise, it isn’t going to benefit you in the ways I mentioned above. Your conscience is not going to be clear; you will not become more compassionate or reduce your suffering; and you certainly will not get respect from others. Giving something and expecting praise is not a very attractive trait.
Giving doesn’t just mean material things. It could be a friendly smile or kind, encouraging words. Whatever type of giving you are doing, do it with an open heart. Do not expect praise and thanks. Let the smile on the person’s face be all the thanks you need.
Practice virtuous actions
In part one of this series, I mentioned the five precepts. These were discussed as things to refrain from, but instead of just avoiding negative actions, we should attempt to act in a positive and virtuous way. A good way to do this is to follow the positive aspects of the five precepts:
Practice harmlessness
Practice generosity
Practice faithfulness
Practice truthfulness
Practice self-control
Harmlessness—If our minds are filled with empathy and respect for all beings, we will never have the intention to harm anyone. We will see that others have difficulties and problems just like us. They go through life trying to be as happy as they can.
In our lives we see people who are less fortunate than ourselves, but instead of just having pity for them, we should have empathy. This is when we put ourselves in their shoes, see the world through their eyes and not try to fit their experience into our world view.
Empathy can be a real eye opener, and from it we can build compassion—not a compassion built on sorrow or guilt, but real heartfelt compassion. Once we have this type of compassion, it will become more difficult for us to have harmful thoughts.
We are all different, and so people will always do and say things we may not agree with. But instead of becoming angry, we should respect their viewpoint and mentally thank them for showing us an alternative way of being. We may, in the end, not change our viewpoint, but at least we have shown the other person respect by listening to them.
Generosity—This was covered in the previous principle.
Faithfulness—If we have a partner, we should be faithful to him or her. It is our responsibility to be kind and caring towards our partner, and vice versa. If we love and cherish someone, we will not want to cause that person any pain and suffering. If we have strong negative feelings towards a partner, I suggest it is time to move on or at least talk it through. I am not saying we should give up at the first hurdle, but if something is over, it is over, and the kindest thing to do is to be honest. I think a huge part of faithfulness is honesty. Things may not always be sweetness and light between you and your partner, but if you are honest, things may work themselves out.
It seems to be a strong human trait to want what we don’t have. We seem never to be satisfied. The grass is always greener on the other side, until you reach the other side, and then you find some other patch of grass to desire. If we were talking about phones here, no harm is done, but we are talking about other humans, who have feelings. If we think how cruel unfaithfulness is, we will never consider doing it.
Faithfulness is concerned not only with partners; it also covers work colleagues, parents, family, friends, and anyone else you come into contact with. Being faithful means to be trustworthy, loyal, and steadfast. Is that you?
Truthfulness—The saying goes, “honesty is the best policy,” and it clearly is. We hate to be lied to and so does everyone else. When we are truthful, we gain respect, friends, and trust. I believe we all long for these things.
We also gain a mind that is calm, without guilt and remorse. Sometimes the truth is painful but being lied to is more painful.
Self-control—Once we drink too much, take illegal drugs, are overcome by sexual urges or are angry, our self-control goes out the window, and with it the previous four precepts.
Self-control is nothing more than mindfulness. If we are mindful of our thoughts, our speech, and our bodily actions, we will stay in control. However, once we have lost control of our mind, our speech and actions follow suit. Self-control helps us be sure that our behaviour and impulses are kept in check.
This is an alternative way of looking at the precepts. If we keep harmlessness, generosity, faithfulness, truthfulness, and self-control in the forefront of our minds, we will be practicing virtuous actions. \
Help your friends and relatives
In previous principles, we spoke about helping our parents/guardians and spouse/children. However, we shouldn’t stop there; we should also help our friends and extended family. As we help one another we create goodwill, and this will help us along the path.
As with our parents, we can help people materially, financially, physically, or emotionally. Sometimes emotional help is the most important. There are times in all our lives when we feel like we have hit rock bottom. It is at these times we need a shoulder to cry on or a helping hand.
Family picture
Remember what I said previously about cause and effect? If we help people when they need assistance, they are more likely to help us when we are in trouble. So, it is of great benefit to all of us to help each other. We all grow stronger with mutual help and support.
It is important to help our friends, but it is equally important to choose good friends. Here is a quote attributed to Buddha that sums up the importance of choosing one’s friends carefully:
‘An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind’.
So be sure you surround yourself with good friends, and once you have done that, strive to be a good friend yourself. Let me finish by mentioning what it says about a true friend in the Mitta Sutra:
‘He gives what is beautiful, hard to give, does what is hard to do, endures painful, ill-spoken words. His secrets he tells you, your secrets he keeps. When misfortunes strike, he doesn’t abandon you; when you’re down and out, doesn’t look down on you. A person in whom these traits are found, is a friend to be cultivated by anyone wanting a friend’.
We should not only try to look for friends like this, but also try to become that type of friend ourselves.
Be blameless in your conduct
A blameless life is one whereby we do not harm other beings with our body, speech, or mind. In fact, we go out of our way to help others, and that includes animals and the environment.
What these principles are trying to do is reduce our sense of unease and discontentment with life, and the way they are doing it is to show us that by being kind, caring and blameless we will have less stress and guilt, and our minds will be more stable and less agitated. I am sure we would all welcome that.
As you work through these principles, you will see that some are about helping yourself directly—such as following an ethical code and learning practical skills—and some are about helping others—such as taking care of your spouse and helping your friends. This is because we do not live in a vacuum. We are all interconnected. So, if you help others and live a blameless life, you are indirectly helping yourself. But if you harm others and live a blameworthy life, you are in turn harming yourself.
A great way to help others is to do volunteer work. I am sure we can find some time in our busy lives to help others. It doesn’t have to be working for a recognised charity. It could be helping needy people in your community, mowing the lawn for an old person, taking a sick neighbour to hospital, raising funds for local charities and so on. You will be surprised at the difference you can make if you try.
In one of Buddha’s sutras he mentioned another aspect of a blameless life:
‘And this undeluded person, not overcome by delusion, his mind not possessed by delusion, doesn’t kill living beings, take what is not given, go after another person’s wife, tell lies or induce others to do likewise, all of which is for long-term welfare and happiness.’
What he is saying here is that if we follow the five precepts, we will already be on the road to living a blameless life. It may not be enough, but it certainly is a great starting point.
We must stay aware, moment by moment, of our actions of body, speech, and mind. If we do not have thoughts of bitterness, do not tell lies or use words that will harm others and do not kill, steal, or otherwise hurt people and animals, then we truly are blameless.
It is also important not to encourage others to act against the five precepts. If we can teach and encourage others to follow a blameless path, we will be doing a great service to humankind, and our lives will become blameless and beyond reproach.
This blog is based on my book ‘Life’s Meandering Path’- available from Amazon and Kindle.
You can read more blogs, listen to podcasts, watch videos, and practice guided meditations on my website.
If you would like to become a supporter of Buddhism Guides work, such as podcasts, blogs, videos and guided meditation practices, please visithere. You can support for as little as $2 a month.
The
final aspect of the eightfold path is staying focused, which is achieved by
effort, mindfulness and concentration.
Effort
Without
applying effort, we are not going to reach any of the goals we set ourselves.
Here I wish to highlight the effort required to avoid harmful acts and develop
helpful ones.
These
are split into four parts, namely the effort to avoid, the effort to overcome,
the effort to develop and the effort to maintain.
This
is a list of the harmful acts we need to avoid and overcome.
Violence
Stealing
Sexual misconduct
Lying
Divisive speech
Harsh words
Gossiping
Greed
Ill-will
Inappropriate view
We
have to put in a great effort in order to avoid these ten harmful actions. This
is achieved by setting ourselves boundaries and ensuring we stay within them.
In my own case some of them came easy to me and others were fairly difficult,
but by putting in the effort and setting myself redlines, I manage to avoid
them for the most part. But none of us are perfect, so we shouldn’t be too hard
on ourselves.
The
next place we apply effortis to
overcome the harmful acts that have already arisen. This one is a little
trickier, particularly if they have already become a habit. The first thing I
suggest you do is to rate the above list of harmful actions from one to ten –
one being the act you do the most and ten being the one you do the least. Be
honest with yourself, even if it is painful, or there will be no point in doing
the exercise. Now, start with number one on your list and each day set an
intention to refrain from doing the act. This exercise will help keep it in the
forefront of your mind. If you do unwittingly perform a harmful deed, don’t get
frustrated, just reaffirm your intention. This is where mindful awareness comes
into its own because you are going to have to be vigilant of your actions.
Slowly work through the list until you feel confident that you have by and
large overcome them.
The
set of skilful acts we have to develop and maintain are the opposite of the
harmful acts.
Compassion
Generosity
Self-restraint
Truthfulness
Kind speech
Pleasant words
Helpful words
Contentment
Goodwill
Appropriate view
The
third effortis to develop skilful
acts that have not yet arisen. The perfect time to think about and cultivate
these helpful deeds is during your daily meditation or reflection session. If
you review each day which actions have been helpful, and which have been
harmful, you will see a pattern emerge. You will then be able to see what you
need to work on.
During
your reflection session, write down the ten helpful acts on a piece of paper.
Then grade them from one to ten – ten being the act that comes naturally to you
and one being the act that you have to cultivate. Those you grade from one to
five are the ones you should work on. At regular intervals, do the grading
again. Note your progress every time and recommit to developing the helpful
acts you need to work on.
The
final effortis to maintain the
helpful actions that have already arisen. This follows on from the previous
effort. There, you contemplated which helpful acts you need to work on. Now
focus on the ones that come naturally and need no great work. You should also
remain mindful of these helpful deeds, so they can become an even deeper habit.
It is no good lying sometimes and telling the truth at other times; stealing
sometimes and not stealing other times; getting totally drunk one day and then
saying you don’t drink another day; or being faithful sometimes and cheating on
your partner at other times. These helpful acts must become natural and
spontaneous. It needs a great amount of effort to keep these going, because if
you do not stay watchful, they can easily drift away from you. Perseverance and
vigilance are key here.
Mindfulness
Whether
we are on the eightfold path or not, we still should try to be mindful, and
maintain an awareness of where our actions are taking us. If we don’t, we are
not going to find the peace of mind we are searching for. So, let’s look at the
different aspects of the path I have laid out in the last three posts and
examine how we can approach them mindfully.
We
cannot just jump into our practices without first having an appropriate view.
Of course, cultivating positive experience is what our practices are all about,
but if we have no clear picture of where we are going and why, we can quite
easily flounder. We need to know what and why we are doing any practice and see
clearly how it will fit into our lives. We need to study and think to gain a
clear picture in our mind before we dive into our practice. A firm and stable
foundation is required. Mindfully setting our intentions for travelling on this
path and implementing a meditation practice is a wonderful way to become motivated.
It allows us to stay on track. It is therefore important to have well
thought-out intentions and stay mindful of them.
Mindless
speech can often divide people and make them feel disconnected. In contrast
mindful speech helps us heal rifts and make better connections with each other.
I feel that if we practice mindful listening, which is being totally engaged
with the other person and allowing them to finish their sentences, mindful
speech arises naturally, and we can enjoy genuine dialogue.
We
need to mindfully check in with ourselves during the day to ensure our actions,
physically, verbally and mentally, are not harmful to ourselves or others. This
strengthens our practice, so we maintain the goal of responsible living.
Usually
livelihood equates with survival – earning money so we can live. But when we
are being mindful of our work, we can see that it is also about contributing to
the common good. It is not just about money; it is also about giving back to
society. We have to be mindful of any harm we may be causing ourselves and
others.
Of
course, we need to put effort into whatever we are doing on the path to ensure
success, but there is such a thing as too much effort. We need to be mindful of
the amount of effort we are putting in. If the effort is causing tension, it is
too much. If the effort is not producing any results, it is not enough. Be
mindful of how much effort you are putting into the path and your
practices.
When
we are being mindful, we are fully aware of, but not tangled up in, the various
aspects of our experience – the emotional, the physical, the spiritual as well
as the social. Mindfulness covers our complete engagement with life.
I
will talk more about mindfulness in my next post.
Concentration
If we
wish for a mind that is at peace we need to learn how to focus single-mindedly
on an object of meditation. However, what I want to highlight here is a
particular type of one-pointedness. It is a wholesome type of concentration. A
killer about to murder his victim, a soldier on the battlefield or a burglar
about to break into your home all act with a concentrated mind, but they cannot
be classed as a wholesome one-pointedness.
Buddha
stated that
appropriate concentration
is dependent on the development of all the preceding seven steps of the
eightfold path:
‘Now what is appropriate
concentration with its supports and requisite conditions? Any singleness of
mind equipped with these seven factors, appropriate view, intention, speech,
action, livelihood, effort and mindfulness, is called appropriate concentration
with its supports and requisite conditions’.
While
concentrating on appropriate view, you have to stay focused on cause and
effect. Whatever intentional actions you do—be it with your body, speech or
mind—will create a reaction in the future. You have to be naturally aware of
this fact whenever you perform any intentional action. You also have to stay
focused on the impermanence of everything, or you may find yourself getting
attached to things, which in turn will cause you to suffer. We tend to have a
fixed and solid sense of self, which is not an accurate view. This again is
going to cause us suffering in the long run. I will talk more about these
points in future posts.
Next,
you should concentrate on appropriate intentions. Our intentions should be to
help and not harm ourselves and others. To achieve this, we have to remain
centred on what is motivating us. We have to ensure our mind isn’t being driven
by any of the three poisons or is clouded by ill will, because if it is, our
actions of body and speech will reflect that, and we will end up harming
someone. By reflecting on what motivates you, it will ensure you do not
intentionally cause harm.
Now
we come to concentration of appropriate speech. A lot of the time we open our
mouth before engaging the brain, and because we are not focused, what comes out
can be harmful, unkind and unhelpful. We lie, use divisive speech, use harsh
words and gossip with such ease, it is frightening. It is as if our mouth has a
life of its own. To counter this, we have to concentrate on our speech. Lying
is never going to help anyone. When we use divisive speech, we are not making
friends; we are just causing divisions between people. Using harsh words to someone’s
face is going to hurt them, and gossiping is a waste of time. So, we have to
have the appropriate level of concentration towards our speech, and then we
will learn to talk in a way that is both helpful and kind.
Concentration
of appropriate action is where we direct our attention towards the actions of
our body. This will ensure we refrain from killing, stealing, sexual misconduct
and other harmful actions of the body. Buddha advised his son, Rahula, to
reflect on any deeds he is thinking about carrying out in this way: Is the deed
going to cause harm to himself or others? If so, do not do it, as it is a bad
deed entailing suffering. However, if you reflect on the deed and it is going
to be helpful to yourself or others, or at the very least, not harmful, you
should do it again and again, as this is a good deed entailing happiness. Thus,
we must be sure we are fully in tune with our actions, so that we are aware of
when we are helping or harming.
This
brings us to concentration of appropriate livelihood. We have to ensure our
work does not bring harm to anybody. We may be doing a dangerous job and if we
do not concentrate on our actions, we may bring harm to someone.
Whatever
we are doing we have to be sure we put in the appropriate effort and appropriate
mindfulness. If we do not concentrate our effort on all of the steps in the
eightfold path, we could become lazy or distracted, and this could lead to us
harming someone or something. If we do not focus our mind on the present
moment, it may lead our thoughts to drift back to the past or jump forward to
the future. Neither of these are helpful. By concentrating on the present
moment our minds will be calm and our actions kind and helpful.
When
our mind is not focused it flaps around like a fish on dry land. It simply
cannot stay still and jumps from one idea to another, from one thought to
another, there is absolutely no control. Such a distracted mind is consumed by
worries and concerns about what has happened or may happen in the future. It
doesn’t see the whole picture and distorts reality.
But a
mind that has been trained in concentration can remain focused on its object
without any distractions. This allows the mind to become calm, clear and open.
This calm, openness can then be taken off the cushion and used in the outside
world. This will allow us to stay single-mindedly aware of all stages of this eightfold
path.
**********
Following the eightfold path is not easy because many of the things we have to change or let go of are very dear to us. We are passionate about them and have often invested an awful lot of time cultivating them. Letting these unhelpful things go can disturb us. Therefore, change takes diligence, discipline and mindful awareness. We have to understand each of the eight steps and then implement them. They have to become a part of our lives; only then will our minds be at ease and we will gradually reduce our emotional suffering and start to experience the true peace of mind we have been desperately searching for.
You can read more blogs, listen to podcasts, watch videos and practice guided meditations on the Buddhism Guide app. Available from the Apple Store and Google Play.
If you would like to become a supporter of Buddhism Guides work, such as podcasts, blogs, videos and guided meditation practices, please visithere. You can support for as little as $2 a month.
The
second aspect of the eight-fold path is living responsibly. We can achieve this
by being mindful of our communication, actions and livelihood.
Communication
Appropriate
communication is a big part of this path and can help us live a more
responsible life. Traditionally, there are four different aspects of this, and
they are refraining from lying, divisive speech, using abusive words and
gossiping.
I am
sure the majority of us wish to live in a kind and compassionate place where
people communicate wisely and appropriately, contributing to a more harmonious
world. We can go some way in achieving this by being truthful, using words that
bring us together, being polite and talking meaningfully. These are skilful
ways for us to connect with each other.
Of
course, we shouldn’t fool ourselves and think that we can always be truthful,
polite and meaningful. There are going to be occasions where it makes sense to
stretch the truth, talk harshly and spend time in idle chatter.
Not telling the truth
once
we have lied to someone, we invariably have to tell another lie to cover the
first one, and then another, and another, until we have created a web of lies.
It truly harms someone when they realise they have been lied to, and it will
harm us when we are branded a liar.
Some
say they lied so as not to hurt the other person’s feelings, but have you
considered how they will feel when they find out you lied? Maybe the truth is
painful or difficult to say, but there are various ways of breaking it to
someone. You can tell them in a kind and sympathetic way. You can support them
once you have told them the truth. What you do not have to do is charge in like
a bull in a china shop. However, it is kinder in the long run to tell someone
the truth.
I get
very upset when I have been lied to, as most people do, and so I keep this fact
in mind when I am talking to others.
Divisive
speech
When
people use divisive speech they are hell-bent on causing a severance between a
person and a group of people. Divisive speech is never positive or productive.
It is used only to harm.
This
type of speech mainly stems from jealousy, pride or hatred. I have come across
it several times in the workplace. A colleague has been promoted and some
people are jealous, so they try to split the workforce. This is divisive
speech.
You
are jealous of your sibling, so you tell divisive stories to your parents in
the hope they will favour you over your sibling. This is divisive speech.
When
I lived in London, before I was a monk, I had a large group of friends who used
to meet at least once a week to have some fun. One of the group members
introduced to us a very attractive woman he had gone to school with. Several of
the guys took a fancy to her and started to flirt. Several women took a dislike
to her because of her beauty and bubbly personality. All of them started to be
divisive. It eventually split the group and we stopped meeting. This is
divisive speech and shows how destructive it can be.
These
are just a few examples, but what is clear is that we must refrain from this
type of speech because it will harm others and eventually harm ourselves. You
will get a reputation for being someone who is always trying to cause trouble,
and people will disassociate themselves from you.
Harsh
Words
These
are swear words, bad language or words that are said only to cause harm. They
are never useful or kind, and usually stem from anger or impatience.
If
someone upsets us we can lose control and say things we do not really mean. The
words are meant to hurt the other person, but usually, after we have calmed
down, we regret them and the words come back to hurt us also. We must stay
mindful of our speech and not allow this to happen.
Sometimes
we get impatient with people when they are not doing what we want, they are
doing it wrong or just differently, they are not being open and truthful or
they are not doing anything and it is just us who is irritable. At these times
we tend to get angry and start saying harsh words. Obviously, the way around
this is to be more patient and have respect for other people’s viewpoints and
feelings.
Every
time you raise your voice or say harsh words, you have lost the argument. When
your voice goes up, your credibility comes down.
Gossiping
Gossip
stems from jealousy, hatred, aversion, ignorance or just having nothing better
to do with your time. It is very destructive, cruel and can never be classed as
helpful. At the time we may enjoy spreading some rumour or other, but just
think how you would feel if people were saying the same things about you.
Gossip
is both harmful and a waste of time. I do believe that social networking sites,
such as Twitter and Facebook, encourage such unhelpful and wasteful gossip. I
am not saying these sites are not of any use—I use them every day—but they can
be used wrongly and end up ruining someone’s reputation or career.
So,
the antidote to these four unhelpful ways of talking are: speak only truthful
words, words that spread harmony and not discord, words that are kind and
compassionate, words that help and not harm others.
I
understand that this isn’t always possible, so let’s look at some examples. If
a seriously ill person asked you if they are going to die and by telling them
the truth you would be making matters worse, it is better to lie to them and
allow them to have some peace. Maybe one of your friends has gotten in with the
wrong crowd, so you decide to speak divisively and try to break up the group.
Your young child is about to put their hand into a fire and out of compassion
you speak harshly to stop them. A work colleague is having a rough time and is
finding it hard to open up, so you indulge in idle chatter to win their trust,
so they can finally feel comfortable to talk about their problems.
All
these examples show that appropriate communication isn’t always black and
white. I think as a rule of thumb, we should ensure that if we do lie, are
divisive, talk harshly or gossip it is for the benefit of others and not just
for our own selfish gain.
The
final word I will give to Buddha, he said this is appropriate communication:
‘It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken
in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken
with a mind of goodwill’.
Action
Appropriate
action traditionally covers those actions we should refrain from. We are
advised to avoid violent acts, to refrain from taking what has not been given,
to limit our consumption of intoxicants and to refrain from causing harm
through sexual activity. However, I believe the concept of appropriate action
should cover all the actions we undertake in our lives. The more we can bring
mindfulness to our everyday actions the more our life improves and the impact
our life has on others will also grow.
Violent
Acts
This
doesn’t just cover violence towards humans; it also covers animals, big or
small. I should make it clear here that I am talking about intentional and/or unnecessary acts of
violence, which include killing as well as physically harming. We have to
understand that all beings have the equal right to live and be free from
suffering, so that is why we have to refrain from doing them any intentional
harm.
It is
very difficult to go through life without unintentionally killing or harming
things. When we wash vegetables, we are more than likely killing small insects,
but this is not our intention. Our intention is to prepare the vegetables for
eating, so this is not what I am talking about here. Having said that, we
should check the vegetables beforehand to ensure there are no insects on them.
Once
you get into the habit of killing, it is very hard to break that habit. You may
see a mosquito on your arm and squash it. You do the same the next time a
mosquito lands on you and the time after that. Eventually you do not even have
to look; you just automatically squash it. This is when the act of killing has
become a habit.
The
way to prevent ourselves from killing/harming is to understand that all beings
are the same as us. They want to be happy and not suffer. So, if we know this,
a feeling of compassion will rise in us and it will become much harder to
kill/harm.
Taking
what has not been given
If we
take something that has not been given or belongs to someone else, this is
stealing, no matter how big or small the item is.
The
first time we steal we may feel guilty and scared of being caught. However, the
more you steal the less guilty and scared you are. In the end you steal just
because you can and not because you need to. This is when stealing has become a
habit.
In Buddhism, we
talk about five factors relating to taking what has not been freely given and
they are: someone else’s belongings, the awareness that they are someone
else’s, the thought of theft, the action of carrying it out, the taking away as
a result of it. All five factors have to be in play for a theft to take place.
We
don’t like people stealing from us, so we should refrain from stealing from
them. Once we get the reputation of being a thief, it will be very hard for
people to trust us. So, by stealing we are hurting both ourselves and others.
Sexual
misconduct
This
is causing harm to someone by the use of the sexual act, such as rape, sex with
someone underage or sex with a married person—here the victim being the
person’s partner. If we physically, emotionally or mentally force someone into
sex, this is causing him or her harm and must be refrained from. There are many
people today still carrying the scars of sexual misconduct. So, this precept
should not be taken lightly.
It is important to keep in mind
that Buddha taught the precept on sexual misconduct to help us refrain from
harming someone through the sexual act. He did not teach it to be moralistic or
make people feel guilty for their sexual orientation.
Livelihood
This
is an important aspect of the path and one we probably do not give a lot of
thought to. We should aim to engage in compassionate activity and earn our
living in a way that does not cause harm and is ethically positive. Most
of us spend a large part of our waking hours at work, so it’s important to
assess how our work affects us and those around us. We need to work to earn
money, without money we cannot survive, this is an unavoidable fact of life.
But have you ever stopped to think whether your work is helping or harming?
Come to think about it, have you ever stopped to think what is an ethically
appropriate livelihood at all?
Do
you have an appropriate livelihood? It may not be as black and white as you
first think. You may sell guns to the army to keep the country safe, but those
guns could fall into the hands of a terrorist and be used to kill innocent
people. You may make cars, so people can get around, but one of those cars may
be involved in an accident and someone is killed. You may make rope and it is
used by someone to commit suicide. I know I have given extreme examples here,
but I just want to get you thinking about the consequences of your livelihood.
It
would be impossible to examine all the possible effects our work has in the
world, but we should certainly contemplate whether we are causing harm in any
obvious or direct ways, to humans, to animals, and to the planet.
I
recently met a young biologist and he had a dilemma. He had just graduated and
was looking for work, but every job he applied for required testing on animals.
He said he just couldn’t bring himself to kill animals, even if it meant he
might discover a new way to help humans. Our choices are not always clear cut,
we need to think very carefully about what path we decide to take. We should
consider the consequences, to ourselves and to others, of any choice we make.
I
fully understand that we need to work to earn money and sometimes we have to do
the jobs we find unpalatable. So, I am not being judgemental here. I am just
pointing out that we have to be mindful of our livelihoods, and reiterating the
fact that actions have consequences.
Pause here for a moment and give your livelihood some thought.
Is it ethical?
Am I forced to do things that go against my redlines?
Do I fully understand the consequences of my livelihood?
Living
responsibly highlights the importance of acting in an appropriate way
physically, verbally and psychologically. If we don’t, we can often
inadvertently cause conflict and bitterness amongst the people we come into
contact with. We must integrate this part of the path into our daily lives and
be constantly mindful of the actions we are carrying out.
The
key point about living responsibly is to have integrity. I find that the best
way for my actions to remain skilful is to keep the view of cause and
consequences in the forefront of my mind. Whenever a thought arises, I try to
gauge whether it will be helpful or harmful and what the consequences are going
to be. This is no easy task and requires us to be mindful of our thoughts.
When
we are being mindful it gives us the space to think before we act. An alert
mind has the opportunity to override unhelpful or destructive thoughts. It
brings awareness into whatever we are intending to do. This is how we can
ensure our actions are appropriate and skilful.
This ends the ‘living responsibly’ aspect of the eightfold path.
You can read more blogs, listen to podcasts, watch videos and practice guided meditations on the Buddhism Guide app. Available from the Apple Store and Google Play.
If you would like to become a supporter of Buddhism Guides work, such as podcasts, blogs, videos and guided meditation practices, please visithere. You can support for as little as $2 a month.
The first
noble truth describes how life has suffering running through it and in the
second truth Buddha gave some of the reasons for this suffering. There is not
just one cause of our suffering, as there is not one cause of anything. Things
come into being through a series of causes and conditions, and that is the same
for our suffering. However, there are three main things that cause us emotional
and psychological suffering, namely, the three poisons. They are clinging
desire, anger and aversion and unawareness.
In the Dhammapada it states:
‘The one who protects his mind from clinging desire, anger and aversion and unawareness, is the one who enjoys real and lasting peace’.
Clinging Desire
Not all of
our desires cause us suffering; only the ones we cling to. We may have a desire
to help people, a desire to reduce our suffering or to improve ourselves. As
long as we are not clinging to these desires there is no problem.
So, desire
on its own isn’t the problem. The problem is our clinging and grasping at the
things we desire. We wrongly believe that material things and people, such as
family, friends and loved ones, can make us permanently and truly happy.
However, if we take the time to investigate, we will find that these desires
eventually lead us into a feeling of discontentment, sadness and loss. Why is
that? It is because we have grown attached to the people we love or the things
we own. Again, there is not a problem with loving the people close to us; the
suffering starts once we get attached to them, believe they will be with us
forever and their thoughts and feelings for us will never change. This simply
isn’t the case.
You can
test this theory out. Think of a time when someone not very close to you died.
How did you feel? I expect you expressed your condolences but didn’t have too
much sadness. Now think of a time when a member of your family, a friend or a
loved one died. How did you feel? I expect you were devastated and extremely
upset for a long time. So, what is the difference between these two deaths?
Attachment. You were not attached to the first person and so did not suffer a
lot when they died, but you were attached to the second person, and your
clinging attachment is what caused you so much suffering.
We get
attached to our belongings and believe they make us happy. We think we can buy
happiness. The problem with that is our desires are never ending. Once we have
something new, we start wanting something else. We never quite manage to buy
the happiness we are so desperately seeking because there is no happiness
inherent in material things. We just project happiness onto an object and then
cling and grasp at this imaginary happiness, and we eventually suffer once the
object is stolen or stops working.
There is
no problem in wanting things and trying to make our lives more comfortable; the
problem is clinging and grasping at these desires. So do not stop loving the
people close to you or stop wanting to improve your life believing Buddha told
us to do that—he didn’t.
Our
clinging desires lead us to act in certain ways, such as being proud, jealous
and protective, and this in turn leads to our discontentment. This is because
our clinging desires lead us into action, which in turn leads us into
discontentment. It is a vicious cycle. Buddha said:
‘From desire action follows; from action discontentment follows; desire, action and discontentment are like a wheel rotating endlessly’.
To break
this cycle, we have to see that clinging, grasping and getting attached to
people and material objects brings us suffering because things are compounded
and are subject to change. If we can truly embrace this point and apply it to
our daily lives, we will be able to reduce the suffering caused by this poison.
Buddha stated, ‘Human desires
are endless. It is like the thirst of a man who drinks saltwater: he gets no
satisfaction and his thirst is only increased.’ This is surely something we
should be reflecting on.
Anger
and Aversion – Aversion is the opposite to attachment and
anger leads to hatred, discrimination, aggression and a lack of compassion. None
of these are helpful. With desire we want to cling to objects, but with
aversion we do the exact opposite. We spend all our time and energy trying to
push the thing away we do not like. As with desire, we just need to let go, not
hold on to this aversion. Don’t engage with it, hold it or repress it – simply
acknowledge you have an aversion for it, understand that it is causing harm to
yourself and others and find a way of letting it go.
Buddha said this about anger:
‘This fury does so cloud the mind of man that he cannot discern this fearful inner danger’.
Some say that anger is
natural and should be expressed at all costs. This is because most people only
see two ways of dealing with anger, that is, express or repress. Both are
unhealthy. If you constantly express it, you will find that after some time it
will become a habit and you will react angrily all of the time. If you repress
it, you are just storing up trouble for the future. You may be able to keep it
down for some time, but eventually it will surface and may even come back more
violent and hurtful.
Anger is such a destructive
emotion because we engage with it and let it take control of us. So, the Buddha
had a different idea. He advised us to look at the anger and see where it comes
from. It is not to be dealt with but observed. If we do this, we will see that
it stems from our exaggerating the negative qualities of someone or projecting
negative qualities that are not actually there, on to someone or something.
Two of the best ways of
counteracting anger is patience and acceptance.
Patience—This
is something we should cultivate. The best advice is to try and walk away from
the situation that is making you angry. If you cannot do that, then you should
not react straight away, but should first try counting to ten and spend a
little time reflecting on the situation. This will give you the space to calm
down and see things more rationally. Of course, this is not a simple thing to
do when one is wrapped up in the moment, and this is where patience comes in.
The most hurtful things are said in the heat of the moment, so defuse that
moment with patience.
You
could try watching your breath for a moment, use your senses to engage with
what you can see, hear, smell, taste and touch or you could try reciting the
word patience over and over again. All of these will give you a chance to calm
down and build patience.
There is no evil like anger, and no courageousness like patience.
Acceptance—This
is accepting that people are the same as we are. Everyone is struggling to find
their way in life. We strive for happiness, and so does everyone else. If we
think in this way, a feeling of warmth, empathy and compassion will arise in
us. If we are empathic or compassionate towards others, it is harder to get
angry at them. This, again, takes time to master but is something we are all
capable of.
Unawareness
Unawareness
is a lack of understanding of the true nature of things, which leads us into
wrong views. Buddha stated:
‘Because of their unawareness, people are always thinking wrong thoughts and always losing the right viewpoint and, clinging to their egos, they take wrong actions. As a result, they become attached to a delusive existence’.
As
we are unaware of the true nature of the world, we start clinging to objects,
people and ourselves, which leads to wrong actions and causes us to grow
attached to our perception of reality.
Impermanence
is something we understand on an intellectual level, but it is not how we live
our lives. That is because we are unaware of the true implications of
impermanence.
Whatever is
born is impermanent and is bound to die.
Whatever is stored up is impermanent and is bound to run out.
Whatever comes together is impermanent and is bound to come apart.
Whatever is built is impermanent and is bound to collapse.
Whatever rises up is impermanent and is bound to fall down.
So also, friendship and enmity, fortune and sorrow, good and evil,
All the thoughts that run through your mind – everything is always changing.
(Taken from ‘Words of My Perfect Teacher’ by Patrul Rinpoche)
All compounded things are impermanent and if we
look closely, everything is compounded. So, everything is impermanent. This may
seem negative or depressing but actually it is a breath of fresh air. Let me
explain.
The definition of compounded is ‘something that
consists of two or more things combined together.’ As I have just stated, all
phenomena are compounded, and that includes you and me. Just think for a
moment, is there anything in this universe that isn’t compounded? As of yet we
haven’t found anything.
The point Buddha was making here is that anything
that is made up of a combination of other things will eventually fall apart. It
will come into being when the various causes and conditions are right, it will
exist for a certain amount of time, and then it will disintegrate – this is the
nature of all things, this is impermanence. It is an undeniable and inescapable
fact of life.
Impermanence isn’t a word we readily warm to, and
it would be much nicer for us to believe that everything is permanent. But this
simply isn’t true, and in order to stop our suffering, we need to acknowledge
this fact. The reason we do not like to hear about impermanence is because it
brings up visions of sickness, pain, disintegration and death. We get a
horrible sick feeling in our stomachs because we equate impermanence with loss
– loss of a loved one, loss of our friends or even loss of something as trivial
as our iPhone. So, it is vitally important for all of us to understand
impermanence.
Why is it important? What are the benefits of understanding it? It means we
will achieve freedom from fear, freedom from suffering and freedom from panic,
because when we know things are not going to last, we are free from any fear,
agony or pain of losing something or someone.
Our mistaken belief is that things come into
existence on their own, and last forever. This kind of mistaken belief causes
us to cling to worldly possessions, such as material objects, the search for
pleasure, recognition, honour and so on. It causes pride, attachment, aversion
and arrogance to grow within us because we truly believe things are here to
stay. We grow completely attached to the concerns of this life.
So, it’s a relief when we finally understand that
everything is impermanent, and we can’t do a thing to change that fact. We can
now let go and relax our grip on things – that’s a real breath of fresh air!
Impermanence is not only true for pleasurable things,
but for painful things as well. Maybe someone you care for has died or left
you, and you are sad and lonely. These emotions are also impermanent and so
will, after time, also change. All the things we have aversion towards will
only last a short time. Like the morning dew, it will all soon change and
disappear.
Like the dew that remains
for a moment or two
On the tips of the grass and then melts with the dawn.
The pleasures we find in the course of our lives
last only an instant, they cannot endure.
(Taken from ‘Thirty-Seven Practices of All Buddha’s Sons’ by Thogme Zangpo)
So, the first noble truth stated that there is suffering flowing through our lives, and the second truth explains some of the causes. In the third truth Buddha explains that there is freedom from suffering.
This truth is called by
various names, such as nirvana, liberation, enlightenment and so on. It is
hotly debated these days. Some think that if you reach nirvana you will never
be born again, others think you will be reborn, but you can pick where. For
people who do not believe in rebirth, they see it as something we can achieve
in this lifetime. I have no idea who is right and who is wrong – it maybe they
are all wrong.
People think that nirvana is
like heaven, full of happiness, the opposite of this world. They image that
there, the sun shines brightly every day, only ‘good’ people are around, one
doesn’t have to work, there are no money worries, everybody is friendly, and
every moment is filled with happiness.
However, this is just a
projection of our dualistic minds, trying to fill heaven with all the things we
like best. But what about all the things other people like and we don’t? I
would want a heaven where no one eats meat, while others would want one where
they could eat a big fat juicy steak every day. Do we each get a heaven of our
own? I believe if people really gave some thought to their concept of heaven,
they would understand they were just changing one conditioned world for
another. That way, heaven, like this world, would be equally impermanent.
I am just going to give my
own thoughts here and you can decide for yourselves what you believe. I will
show you that there are two good bits of news in this third noble truth.
I feel that the best word to describe this third truth is awakening. We awaken from the sleep of unawareness. I do not see the process of awakening as some mystical or metaphysical thing.
Buddha said that awakening is the ‘highest happiness’, but he wasn’t talking about the mundane happiness we strive for in our everyday lives. He was talking about absolute freedom from unskillfulness, freedom from craving, attachment, desire, hatred and unawareness. All of this we can achieve in this lifetime by truly understanding the four noble truths and following the eightfold path. Once we start meditating on these teachings and turning them from knowledge to wisdom, we will start to change our actions of body, speech and mind.
This state of being awake can
be reached by anyone, whether they call themselves Buddhist or not, in this
very lifetime – you just have to put the effort and hard work in. That’s the
first bit of good news.
The second bit of good news
is we do not have to die to become awakened. It can be obtained during this
lifetime. Death is irrelevant to this process. People feel like this life is
full of discontentment and causes them nothing but suffering, and the only way
out is death. They feel at death they will be miraculously transported to a
better place. But the third truth is not talking about a place; it is the
cessation of the three poisons, namely, desire, anger and aversion and
unawareness. The Buddha defined it as ‘perfect peace’, or a state of mind that
is free from craving, anger and other afflictive states. We can find this
perfect peace in this body, on this planet and in this lifetime.
I honestly believe the third
truth isn’t talking about a metaphysical thing, it isn’t a place to go to and
we do not have to die to realise it. We just need to put in a huge amount of
effort so we can extinguish our afflictive states of mind.
I will leave you to reflect on this third truth, so you can decide which version makes the most sense to you.
You can read more blogs, listen to podcasts, watch videos and practice guided meditations on the Buddhism Guide app. Available from the Apple Store and Google Play.
If you would like to become a supporter of Buddhism Guides work, such as podcasts, blogs, videos and guided meditation practices, please visithere. You can support for as little as $2 a month.
Buddha‘s
first teaching was on the four noble truths, and it still remains the very
foundation on which Buddhism is built. It was these four realities that the Buddha came to
understand during his meditation under the bodhi tree, and they provide a
conceptual framework for all of Buddhist thought.
The
first reality is ‘There is suffering.’ The word suffering here means a
dissatisfaction, discontentment, an uneasy feeling running through our lives.
This suffering can be divided into three parts, namely, the suffering of pain,
the suffering of happiness and the all-pervasive suffering.
The
suffering of pain is easy for us to understand, as it is our daily suffering.
It is when we have a headache, cold, hangover and so on. This is physical
suffering.
The
second suffering is the suffering of happiness. Now this one is a bit harder
for us to understand. When we are happy, we never think about suffering, but it
is there just lurking around the corner. Let’s look at some examples:
You
buy a new iPhone and you are so happy. You show it to your family and friends
who are envious. You take this phone everywhere with you and use it every day
to play games, surf the net, look at social media, watch films and so on. You
could not be happier. Then one day you can’t find it. It has been stolen. Now
that happiness you had has changed into sadness – this is the suffering of
happiness.
Nothing
in life is permanent and so will eventually change. It is this change that
brings on the second type of suffering. It isn’t that phenomena have inherent
suffering within them, it is because we get attached to things and when change
arrives, we become sad, discontented and this is the suffering of happiness.
So, I am not saying happiness is suffering. While happiness is here, we enjoy
but once the happiness starts to wear off, we start to suffer.
The third suffering is the all-pervasive suffering. This type of suffering is within everything in our lives, but because it is suffering on a subtle level, we are prone to missing it. This type of suffering is a condition that exists because of how we perceive ourselves in relation to the world. So, you could say that our entire worldly experience is a definition of suffering that we cannot even see.
So
how do we see ourselves and the world? Well, we see them as separate – I’m here
and the world is outside of me. In other words, as subject and object. So, the
way we look at things, subject and object, me and everything else, is in some
way the cause of our suffering that will come to us in the future. It is like
eating a wonderful meal but not knowing it has been poisoned. Whilst we are
eating the food, we are happy, but later, once the poison starts to work, we
suffer.
Another
cause of this all-pervasive suffering is seeing ourselves as a solid,
independent self and thinking that this self is how we experience the world. Buddha
taught that this is not the case, and we are actually the coming together of
five things, namely, the five aggregates.
The
aggregates are form, feeling, conception, mental formation and consciousness.
Form, or matter, corresponds to physical factors and not only includes our
own bodies, but also the material objects that surround us. It includes the
five physical sense organs and their corresponding physical objects. The five
physical sense organs are eye, ear, nose, tongue and body. Their corresponding
objects are visible form, sound, smell, taste and touch.
Feeling is the second aggregate and it can be divided into three different
types of experience, namely pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. One of these three
are present in every moment-to-moment experience.
There
are six kinds of experience, five physical and one mental. The experiences
happen when your eye contacts with a visible form, your ear with sound, your
nose with smell, your tongue with taste and your body with any other tangible
object. These are the five physical experiences. The mental experience is when
your mind is in contact with mental objects, such as ideas, hopes, wishes and
thoughts.
Our
feelings are extremely important as, in the end, they determine what we
experience and how we respond. We all want good feelings and try to avoid bad
feelings. However, because we cling desperately to happy times, we become sad
and disillusioned when they end.
The
third aggregate is conception, and this
is where we attach a name to an experience. Here, we formulate a conception of
an idea about the object we perceive. The purpose of this aggregate is to
analyse and investigate. When we come into contact with an object, our
conception aggregate categorises it by shape, colour, motion, location, sex and
other such categories. These concepts can come from parents, school, society,
friends and other social groups. Everything we have learnt or are learning form
our concepts.
The
fourth aggregate is mental formation. It
is the impression created by previous actions. This aggregate starts in the
mind and is then reflected in our body and speech. That means whatever action
we do is part of this aggregate.
Maybe
a better way to call this aggregate is mental formation and volition. Volition
is the capability of conscious choice, decision and intention. So, the mental
formation stems from our past, and volition, from the present moment. Both
function together to determine our response to an object of experience. These
responses have moral consequences in the sense of skilful, unskilful and
neutral acts.
The
final aggregate is consciousness, which
is very powerful. From this stem the third and fourth aggregates. It is mere
awareness of an object. When the eyes and a visible object come into contact,
the eye consciousness will become associated with that object and visual
consciousness will arise. It is the same with all the six consciousnesses.
It
should be noted that consciousness is not personal experience, but merely
awareness of an object. Personal experiences are produced through the
functioning of the feeling, conception and the mental formation aggregates.
These aggregates turn mere awareness into a personal experience.
Let’s
put this all together. Your eyes see the form. Your consciousness becomes aware
of it. Your conception identifies it. A pleasant, unpleasant or neutral feeling
arises. Your mental formation makes you respond to it with a conditioned
reaction, stemming from your past. So, for example, you are walking down the
street and see a car you like driving by – this is the form aggregate. Your
eyes become aware of it – this is the consciousness aggregate. You perceive it
as a car – this is the conception aggregate. You feel happy, unhappy or neutral
– this is the feeling aggregate. If you feel happy you may stop and stare, if
you dislike it you may turn away and if you are neutral you just carry on your
way without another thought – this is the mental formation aggregate.
Buddha
called them the five clinging aggregates, and this is where the problem comes
for us. We cling to these aggregates as though they are the self – a solid and
permanent you. When these five aggregates come together, we experience the
world, but when they disperse we stop experiencing the world. He also taught us
that there is absolutely no experience other than these five aggregates. These
aggregates are ever-changing and so there really isn’t anything solid for us to
cling to. When we try to cling to them as a permanent self we suffer, and this
is what Buddha was pointing out in the first noble truth.
The
reason he taught the first noble truth was to help us understand that we have a
problem. If we don’t know we have a problem we will not look for a solution. It
is the same as if we don’t know we are sick we will not go to the doctor. If we
know we are sick we go to the doctor and he tells us what is making us sick and
gives us medicine to cure it. It is the same here. If we know we are suffering,
we will look for the cause and the cure, which are the other three noble
truths. It is extremely important to fully understand this first noble truth.
If we do understand it, we will be able to move on to the next noble truth –
the cause of our suffering.
You can read more blogs, listen to podcasts, watch videos and practice guided meditations on the Buddhism Guide app. Available from the Apple Store and Google Play.
If you would like to become a supporter of Buddhism Guides work, such as podcasts, blogs, videos and guided meditation practices, please visithere. You can support for as little as $2 a month.
