In today’s fast-paced and constantly changing world, the ancient Japanese philosophy of Wabi Sabi offers a refreshing perspective on life, encouraging us to appreciate the beauty of imperfection and transience. Wabi Sabi is not just a design or aesthetic concept; it’s a way of life that can inspire us to find contentment and peace in the midst of life’s chaos and imperfections.
Wabi Sabi is a philosophy that embraces the beauty of imperfection, impermanence, and incompleteness. It celebrates the natural state of things and finds beauty in the simple, unpretentious, and unrefined. This concept originated from the Buddhist teachings and has evolved over centuries to become a profound cultural and appealing ideal in Japan.
“Wabi” embodies simplicity, humility, and living in harmony with nature. It emphasises the beauty of things that are modest, unassuming, and unadorned. Wabi encourages us to find joy in the ordinary and appreciate the elegance of simplicity.
“Sabi” represents the beauty that comes with age, wear, and the passage of time. It acknowledges the graceful aging and weathering of objects, as well as the acceptance of the inevitable cycle of growth, decay, and death. Sabi teaches us to find beauty in the sheen of old objects and the wisdom that comes with experience.
Together, these two concepts create a philosophy for approaching life: accept what is, stay in the present moment, and appreciate the simple, transient phases of life.
The writer Omar Itani said, ‘It takes a Wabi heart, to recognise Sabi beauty.’
So, what is the relevance of this philosophy in today’s world? Well, in today’s modern society, where perfection and youth are often glorified, the philosophy of Wabi Sabi offers a much-needed counterbalance. It encourages us to embrace the natural cycles of life, and to find beauty in the imperfect, the aged, and the transient. In a world filled with mass-produced goods and superficial ideals of beauty, Wabi Sabi reminds us to slow down, appreciate authenticity, and seek meaning beyond material possessions.
Here are 6 Main Points of Wabi Sabi:
Accepting Life
Acceptance is a fundamental aspect of the Wabi Sabi philosophy, emphasising the appreciation of things as they are, without the desire for change or improvement. In the context of Wabi Sabi, acceptance encompasses a deep understanding of the impermanence inherent in all aspects of life.
Wabi Sabi encourages us to embrace the concept of impermanence, recognising that nothing is permanent, and that change is an inevitable part of existence. By acknowledging the transient nature of life, we can cultivate a sense of acceptance for the natural ebb and flow of experiences, relationships, and circumstances. This acceptance allows us to let go of attachment to specific outcomes and find peace in the present moment, regardless of life’s uncertainties.
The sooner we can accept all the good and bad things life throws at us, the lighter we will feel. We will find our freedom through acceptance, and out of acceptance, we find the path to lessen all forms of suffering.
In practical terms, embracing acceptance in the spirit of Wabi Sabi involves cultivating mindfulness and gratitude. Through mindfulness, we can become more aware of our thoughts and emotions, allowing us to observe them without judgment and develop a greater sense of acceptance for ourselves and others. Gratitude encourages us to acknowledge and appreciate the present moment, fostering a deeper sense of contentment and acceptance of our circumstances.
Ultimately, by integrating the principle of acceptance into our lives, we can experience a profound shift in perspective, finding peace and fulfilment amid life’s inevitable flux.
2. Embracing Imperfection
Embracing imperfection, as taught by the Japanese philosophy of Wabi Sabi, encourages individuals to find beauty in the flawed and imperfect aspects of life. This concept can be applied to various facets of life, including art, design, relationships, and personal growth. By embracing imperfection, individuals cultivate a mindset of acceptance and appreciation for the inherent beauty in things that deviate from conventional notions of perfection.
In the realm of art and design, the principles of Wabi Sabi celebrate asymmetry and simplicity. Instead of striving for flawless and symmetrical designs, Wabi Sabi encourages artists and designers to incorporate irregularities and imperfections, recognizing the unique character and history they bring to a piece. This approach not only honours the natural aging and weathering of materials but also fosters a deeper connection between the observer and the object, evoking a sense of tranquillity and harmony.
Furthermore, the concept of embracing imperfection can be applied to personal growth and relationships. By acknowledging and accepting one’s own imperfections, individuals can cultivate self-compassion and a sense of authenticity. This self-acceptance can lead to increased resilience and a more positive self-image. Similarly, in relationships, embracing imperfection can foster empathy and understanding, as individuals learn to appreciate the unique qualities and flaws of others, fostering deeper and more authentic connections.
In today’s fast-paced and often superficial world, the principles of Wabi Sabi serve as a poignant reminder to slow down, appreciate the beauty in imperfection, and find value in the transient and imperfect nature of existence. By embracing imperfection, individuals can find joy in the authenticity and uniqueness of life, fostering a greater sense of contentment, empathy, and interconnectedness with the world around them.
3. Finding Beauty in Simplicity
Finding beauty in simplicity, as advocated by the principles of Wabi Sabi, encourages individuals to appreciate the elegance and tranquillity inherent in unadorned and unpretentious aspects of life. This concept can be applied to various aspects of modern living, including lifestyle, design, and personal wellbeing. By embracing simplicity, individuals can declutter their lives, prioritize what truly matters, and find solace amid the complexity and rapid pace of contemporary existence.
In the realm of lifestyle, embracing simplicity involves streamlining one’s possessions, commitments, and daily routines. By focusing on what is essential and shedding the unessential, individuals can create a sense of clarity and purpose in their lives. This can lead to reduced stress, increased productivity, and a greater capacity for mindfulness and appreciation of the present moment. Embracing simplicity may involve simplifying one’s living space, decluttering possessions, and practicing mindful consumption, all of which can contribute to a more peaceful and harmonious lifestyle.
Moreover, in the context of design and aesthetics, the concept of finding beauty in simplicity encourages the creation and appreciation of unadorned, minimalistic, and functional forms. This approach emphasises the intrinsic beauty of natural materials, clean lines, and unassuming elegance, fostering a sense of calm and balance. By embracing simplicity in design, individuals can create environments that promote clarity of thought, serenity, and a deeper connection to the surrounding natural world.
The principles of Wabi Sabi offer a valuable antidote to the overwhelming complexity and constant stimulation that characterise modern living. By embracing simplicity, individuals can cultivate a more mindful and intentional approach to life, focusing on what truly matters and finding tranquillity amid the chaos. This can lead to reduced stress, enhanced wellbeing, and a greater capacity for appreciation of the present moment, ultimately fostering a more balanced and fulfilling existence.
4. Appreciating the Natural Cycle
Appreciating the natural cycle in Sabi in Wabi Sabi encourages individuals to recognise and find beauty in the inevitability of growth, decay, and impermanence. This principle can be applied to various aspects of life, including personal growth, relationships, and coping with change. By acknowledging the natural cycle, individuals can cultivate resilience, let go of attachments, and find peace amidst life’s inevitable transitions and uncertainties.
On a personal level, embracing the natural cycle involves recognising the ebb and flow of life, acknowledging that change and impermanence are fundamental aspects of existence. By embracing this perspective, individuals can let go of unrealistic expectations and attachments, fostering a greater sense of acceptance and inner peace. This can lead to increased resilience and adaptability, enabling individuals to navigate life’s challenges with grace and equanimity.
In the realm of relationships, appreciating the natural cycle can foster a deeper understanding of the impermanence of experiences and emotions. By acknowledging that relationships, like all aspects of life, are subject to change and evolution, individuals can approach connections with a greater sense of openness and non-attachment. This can lead to more authentic and resilient relationships, characterised by an acceptance of each other’s growth and change.
Moreover, this concept can also be applied to broader social and environmental contexts. By acknowledging and respecting the natural cycle of growth, decay, and renewal in the natural world, individuals can develop a greater appreciation for the interconnectedness of all living things and the beauty that emerges from the passage of time. This can inspire a more sustainable and harmonious approach to interacting with the environment and the world around us.
In today’s world, characterised by rapid change and uncertainty, the principles of Wabi Sabi offer a valuable framework for coping with life’s transitions. By embracing the natural cycle, individuals can develop a deeper sense of peace and resilience, finding beauty in the impermanence of existence and approaching change with grace and acceptance. This can lead to a greater capacity for adaptability, emotional wellbeing, and a more profound connection to the world around us.
5. Valuing Authenticity
The Wabi Sabi principle of valuing authenticity emphasises the importance of embracing genuine, unadulterated qualities in various aspects of life, including personal interactions, creativity, and social values. By prioritising authenticity over artificial perfection, individuals can cultivate deeper connections, foster a sense of community, and seek meaningful experiences and relationships in today’s world, characterised by superficiality and the pursuit of external validation.
In personal interactions, the emphasis on authenticity encourages individuals to embrace their true selves and to engage with others in a sincere and open manner. By valuing authenticity, individuals can create genuine connections based on mutual understanding, empathy, and respect, fostering a sense of belonging and emotional intimacy. This approach promotes the expression of genuine emotions and ideas, leading to more fulfilling and meaningful relationships characterised by trust and mutual support.
In the domain of creativity and self-expression, valuing authenticity encourages individuals to embrace their unique perspectives and creative voices, rather than conforming to external expectations or trends. By prioritising authenticity in artistic endeavours, individuals can create work that reflects their true selves, resonating with others on a deeper, more emotional level. This can lead to the cultivation of a more diverse and inclusive creative landscape, where individual authenticity is celebrated and valued.
Furthermore, in the context of social values, emphasising authenticity encourages a re-evaluation of the importance placed on external appearances and material success. By valuing authenticity, individuals and communities can shift their focus towards fostering genuine connections, empathy, and a sense of shared humanity. This can lead to the development of more compassionate and inclusive communities, where individuals feel accepted and valued for their true selves.
Today, where social media and digital communication often prioritise image and superficiality, the principles of Wabi Sabi offer a valuable reminder to seek real, meaningful experiences and relationships. By valuing authenticity, individuals can cultivate deeper connections and a greater sense of belonging, promoting emotional wellbeing and a more profound appreciation for the beauty of genuine human connection.
6. Cultivating Contentment
Cultivating contentment, as advocated by Wabi Sabi, encourages individuals to find beauty and fulfilment in the simplicity of everyday life, fostering a sense of gratitude and inner peace. This principle can be applied to various aspects of modern living, including lifestyle, personal wellbeing, and social values. By embracing contentment, individuals can combat the pervasive culture of consumerism and comparison, leading to a greater appreciation for the richness of the present moment and a deeper sense of fulfilment.
On a personal level, cultivating contentment involves developing an awareness of and gratitude for the simple pleasures and blessings in one’s life. By focusing on the present moment and appreciating what one has rather than longing for what is lacking, individuals can cultivate a sense of inner peace and fulfilment. This approach encourages mindfulness and a deeper connection to the richness of everyday experiences, fostering a more profound appreciation for the beauty of the ordinary.
Furthermore, cultivating contentment can lead to a re-evaluation of social values, shifting the focus from material possessions and external measures of success to an appreciation for intrinsic richness and emotional wellbeing. By embracing contentment, individuals can combat the pervasive culture of consumerism and comparison, promoting a greater emphasis on the value of experiences, relationships, and personal growth. This shift can lead to a more sustainable and balanced approach to living, characterised by a deeper sense of fulfilment and wellbeing.
We live in a world where the pursuit of external validation and material possessions often leads to feelings of inadequacy and discontent, the principles of Wabi Sabi offer a poignant reminder to seek joy and fulfilment in the present moment. By cultivating contentment, individuals can develop a greater appreciation for the simple pleasures of everyday life, fostering a deeper sense of gratitude and inner peace. This approach can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling existence, characterised by a greater emphasis on intrinsic richness and emotional wellbeing.
So, Wabi Sabi offers a timeless and profound philosophy that is deeply relevant in today’s world. By embracing acceptance, imperfection, simplicity, the natural cycle, authenticity, and contentment, we can cultivate a more meaningful and fulfilling way of life. In a society often driven by materialism and perfectionism, the principles of Wabi Sabi remind us to find beauty in the ordinary, to cherish the passage of time, and to seek authenticity and contentment in our relationships and experiences. As we integrate these principles into our lives, we can discover a sense of peace, resilience, and joy that transcends the fleeting standards of superficial beauty and perfection.
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In this blog, we will be looking at the Buddhist concept of nonself. This is a difficult subject for many of us to grasp because we have invested so much time and effort into building and reinforcing a sense of self. However, Buddha stated that what we call a self is just a coming together of different parts.
A woman goes to the woods to meditate. Whilst she is there her mind gets distracted and these questions arise:
By whom was this being created?
Where is the living being’s maker?
Where has the living being originated?
Where does the living being cease?
These are questions we all grapple with at some time in our lives. However, she doesn’t get distracted by these thoughts and thinks to herself:
‘This is purely a pile of fabrications. Here no living being can be pinned down. Just as when, with an assemblage of parts, there’s the word car, even so when aggregates are present, there’s the convention of a being’.
The questions are presupposing there is a self, but that is just a fabrication. Some people think we are our thoughts, but thoughts come and go, so we are not our thoughts. Others believe we are our bodies, but scientists tell us that millions of cells in our body are renewed every minute, so that by the end of seven years we don’t have a single living cell in our body that was there seven years before. Our bodies are changing, so we can’t be our bodies. So, who are we?
No lasting, permanent self can be pinned down because we are just a collection of parts, much the same as a car. When various parts are assembled, we label it a car, and the same for us. When all the parts come together, we call it a self. As this self is compounded it follows that it is impermanent, and so it will come together, remain for a period of time and finally die.
We have to be careful here that we don’t misunderstand what is being said. Buddha was not saying there is no self or there is a self. The question of there being a self or not is just a ‘thicket of views’, and one should avoid such ways of thinking. This isn’t because he couldn’t answer the question, but that it had no bearing on easing our suffering. These types of questions get us confused and may lead us down the wrong path, such as nihilism or eternalism.
The reason for this teaching was to stop us clinging to a self, because that clinging or attachment will lead to conceit, which will in turn lead to us suffering. He taught three different types of conceit we have to be aware of:
Thinking we are better than others, which causes the seven types of pride: pride of ego clinging, simple pride (thinking you are special), pride of thinking we are better/greater than others, pride of pride (thinking you are the best in the group), pride of thinking we are only slightly inferior to an outstanding person, perverted pride (when we are proud of something that is not good), and blatant arrogance.
Thinking we are worse than others, which leads to envy or resentment.
Thinking we are the same as others, which can lead to us being complacent.
So, the next question that may come to mind is, ‘If there is not a permanent and solid self, how do we experience the world?’ I see, hear, smell and so on, how is that possible? I have a family, friends, and job, so if there is no self, who has all these things? These are all fair questions.
Buddha stated the way we experience the world is through five aggregates. The five aggregates come together through a series of causes and effects, and then we experience the world around us. When the five disperse, we stop experiencing the world—in short, we die. What are these aggregates?
They are form, feeling, conception, mental formation and consciousness.
Form includes our bodies and the material objects that we encounter. This aggregate includes both internal and external matter. It is the only aggregate that represents material things. The remaining four aggregates represent mental phenomena.
Feelings are divided into three parts: pleasant, neutral, and unpleasant. These experiences can be mental or physical. There are six kinds of experience, five physical and one mental. These experiences arise when your eyes come into contact with objects, your ears with sound, nose with smell, tongue with taste, body with tangibles and mind with thoughts and ideas.
Conception is where we attach a name to the experience and categorise it by shape, colour, location, sex and so on. We pick up concepts from our parents, friends, society, teachers. and other social groups. It should be noted that our whole world is built on concepts, judgements, and ideas, and not on objectively existing realities, as is commonly believed.
Mental formation is where we respond to an object of experience. It can stem from an impression created from previous actions, which makes us respond in a certain way. These responses have moral consequences as they can make us act in a skilful, neutral, or unskilful way. We can also decide, when we are being mindful, to act in a new and different way.
The final aggregate is consciousness. This is where we get an awareness of an object. If an eye comes into contact with a visible object, the eye consciousness will become associated with the object and visual consciousness will arise. If the nose comes into contact with a smell, the nose consciousness will become associated with the smell and the olfactory consciousness will arise. The same goes for the remaining four consciousnesses.
So, let’s put this all together. Your eyes see a form. Your consciousness becomes aware of it. Your conception identifies it. A pleasant, neutral, or unpleasant feeling arises. Your mental formation makes you respond to it with a conditioned reaction. This is how the five aggregates work together to give us a personal experience.
If you are walking down the street and a car passes you – this is form. Your eye consciousness becomes aware of the form – this is consciousness. As you know what a car looks like you will identify it as such – this is conception. If you like the car, a pleasant feeling will arise. If you dislike it, an unpleasant feeling arises. If you don’t care one way or another, a neutral feeling will arise – this is the feeling aggregate. Finally, our mental formation will make us act in a certain way, depending on if we like, dislike or don’t care about the car.
You should keep in mind that these aggregates do not constitute a self; they are just the way we experience the world. Buddha explained it this way:
‘…any kind of form whatever, whether past, future or presently arisen, whether gross or subtle, whether in oneself or external, whether inferior or superior, whether far or near, must with right understanding how it is, be regarded thus: “This is not mine, this is not I, this is not myself.”’
And the same goes for the other four aggregates.
These aggregates are compounded and so are impermanent and ever changing, so how can they constitute a self?
Nonself means there is no permanent, solid self. We come into being through a series of causes, conditions and effects, and we experience the world through the coming together of the five aggregates. These five aggregates also come into being through causes, conditions and effects, so they are impermanent and ever changing. In the Kalakarama Sutra prologue it states this about the aggregates:
Form is like a mass of foam,
And feeling—but an airy bubble.
Conception is like a mirage,
And mental formations a plantain tree.
Consciousness is a magic-show,
A juggler’s trick entire…
As impermanence, which was written about in the last blog post, and nonself are such important subjects, and since they can help reduce our suffering if we understand them, we should constantly contemplate them and try to implement their wisdom into our lives.
This blog is based on my book ‘Life’s Meandering Path’- available from Amazon and Kindle.
If you would like to become a supporter of Buddhism Guides work, such as podcasts, blogs, videos and guided meditation practices, please visithere. You can support for as little as $2 a month.
Impermanence is one of the most important topics Buddha taught.
In the Dhammapada it states this:
‘All conditioned things are impermanent’
‘All conditioned things are unsatisfactory’
‘All things are nonself’
…when one sees this with wisdom, one turns away from suffering. This is the path to purification.
So, what things are impermanent? Buddha said this:
‘You may well take hold of a possession, monks, that is permanent, stable, eternal, immutable, that abides eternally the same in its very condition. But do you see, monks, any such possession?’—‘No, Buddha’.—‘Well, monks, I, too, do not see any such possession that is permanent, stable, eternal, immutable, that abides eternally the same in its very condition’.
So, it is clear from this stanza that nothing remains without change. Why is that? Well, all phenomena are made up of two or more parts and come into existence through a series of causes and conditions.
Buddha taught that there is no phenomenon that exists from its own side—that is, there are no phenomena that are not compounded.
Things do not just come into existence by sheer magic or by some superior power, such as a god. It is through causes and conditions, the joining together of things, that phenomena come into existence.
Everything is dependent on other things. When we fill a jug with water, it is not the first drop that fills it, nor the last drop; it is each drop individually coming together that fills the jug.
When we plant a seed in the ground, it will not just miraculously grow. It needs water, sun, nutrients from the soil and so on, or it will not grow. It grows when these causes and conditions come into play. We came into being when sperm meets with an egg. We don’t just miraculously appear or are made by some so called higher being; it is through various causes and conditions.
When things come together, something comes into being. They last a while, even though they are constantly changing, and then they disintegrate. This is the true nature of all phenomena, and it is because of this everything is impermanent.
Let’s look at some examples of what is impermanent. The universe is impermanent. Planets explode and black holes keep forming—all this is a display of impermanence.
Let’s look closer to home, to the earth. We are all aware of how the earth is changing, mainly because of our own actions. A thousand years ago the earth was a very different place. Innumerable species of animals have since become extinct, other species have evolved, forests have disappeared, and lakes have dried up, while so-called human civilisation grows dramatically. This is due to impermanence.
The weather changes constantly, and time does, too. Seasons change and, quite importantly, so do our thoughts and feelings. Absolutely everything around us is changing. Impermanence is a far-reaching factor in our lives. So, why do we find it so hard to embrace it?
Even though we nearly all understand impermanence on an intellectual level, we choose to ignore it. It is much nicer to believe things will last forever. But this simply isn’t the case and all we are doing is setting ourselves up for future suffering.
We struggle against impermanence because we get too attached to things, get so involved and wrapped up in them. We fool ourselves into believing that something we like will last forever. When it doesn’t, we are surprised and start suffering. But this idea that things will last forever is a delusion.
Let’s look at an example of our attachments to something and how it makes us suffer.
Imagine you see an advertisement for the latest smartphone. You then search the Internet to check out the specifications. Your excitement grows. Your anticipation is high. When the product arrives in the shops, you rush to buy it. One hour later it’s in your hands and you are playing with it. The more you look at it, the more you see how indispensable it is, and you become convinced that it is the one thing that can bring you true happiness. You can’t think of anything else, and you wonder how you ever lived without it. You spend the next few weeks proudly showing it to your friends, who envy you for having it. Every time you look at it, a sense of pride fills you. You are so happy—your life seems complete.
Then the inevitable happens: a newer, faster, smaller, and more powerful version comes out. You hold the smartphone in your hand, but your happiness has turned to discontent. Why is that? Buddha taught us that all sense objects, including those fashionable, technical gadgets, are impermanent. There is no happiness inherent in them; we simply project happiness onto these objects. When our thoughts toward the object change, or the object changes itself, the suffering kicks in.
That is the type of impermanence we do not like. On the other hand, if we are experiencing hard times, we are only too glad that things change. We may have gone out last night and this morning we have a headache. That will eventually go, and we will start to feel better. We may have had a serious illness, but things change, and we survived it and we are happy. Perhaps we have just separated from our loved one and are now going through a bad time; when that ends, we will be more than happy. If we have just lost our job and are now facing financial hardship, we will of course be extremely pleased to find new employment. So, impermanence is not all bad news.
Our view of impermanence can become quite selective. We don’t seem to fully understand the nature of impermanence and seem not to even spend time thinking about it. We need to make the understanding of impermanence a part of our lives and our very way of thinking. To do this we must reflect on it, but before we can do that, we need to understand why Buddha taught this and what the benefits are.
So why did Buddha teach us this? To stop us from grasping at things. If we understand that phenomena only come together through causes and conditions, and thus do not exist by themselves, we will not get attached to our friends, family, or belongings. If we are not attached to them, it follows that we are not going to suffer once they have changed or gone.
What is the benefit of knowing about impermanence? There are many, but a major one is that it helps us focus on our lives and on setting goals, so we don’t waste the precious little time we have on this earth. This is using impermanence as a motivational tool. If we just stop and think for a moment, how much time do we waste in a day? We manage to waste time in so many different ways. Without knowing it, the days turn to months, the months into years and before we know it, we will be on our deathbeds full of regret.
Impermanence helps us realise that we and all our friends and family will eventually die. We don’t know how, where, and when, but we do know it will happen. If we are not attached to them, we are not going to suffer once they depart.
If we understand impermanence, knowing the thing we hold dear is going to change, we are less likely to get attached to it, and if we are not attached, when it changes, we will not suffer.
I will let Buddha have the last word. This is how he spoke about impermanence:
‘Nothing in the world is permanent or lasting; everything is changing and momentary and unpredictable. But people are ignorant and selfish and are concerned only with the desires and suffering of the passing moment. They do not listen to the good teachings, nor do they try to understand them; they simply give themselves up to the present interest, to wealth and lust’.
Before we finish I want to teach you reflection practices that I think are going to help you come to terms with impermanence.
I have been traditionally trained in Buddhism, and one thing I was taught to do was reflect upon death. Now I know this may sound morbid and even a little strange, but I can tell you from my own experience that it really works. It works on so many levels. First, you understand impermanence and start to let go of your clinging attachment to things. Second, you become motivated to make the best of this life. And third, you will not be fretting about death. In the West, talking about death is such a no-no. Why is that? We can learn so much from reflecting upon it.
Here are four reflections on different aspects of death. Please do not get distressed; just work through them slowly. These are taken from the traditional Buddhist practice and may be too much for you to reflect on. If that’s the case, I suggest you look at why that is.
1—Think that nothing lasts
Think that this year will soon be gone; last year has already gone; each year departs so quickly. Think about the world and all its inhabitants, and how they are impermanent. Think about how you have gone from a baby to a child to an adult and realise that you are heading towards death. Think of how every day, week, month, and year brings you closer to your death. Reflect upon these points. This is not to depress you; it is to make you understand that everything is impermanent and the time to try and reduce your suffering is now.
2—Think about how many other people have died
Think about all the people you have known who have died. Some have been older, some younger and some the same age. There have been so many! Think about how most people, even though they are surrounded by impermanence, have died unprepared. Think of the times that you have been shocked to find out about someone dying, even though you are surrounded by impermanence. Read the papers and watch the news, count how many people have died or been killed today. Reflect on these points and understand that death is all around us, and let this fact motivate you to be a better person.
3—Think of the many causes of death
Think of the numerous circumstances that can bring about death: heart attack, illnesses, accidents, falling down the stairs, being hit by lightning—the list is endless. We do not know when, where and how we are going to die. What we know is that death will come. As we don’t know our fate, we should spend the precious time we have engaging in practice. Reflect on these points and don’t let your death be a surprise.
4—Reflect what will happen at the time of death
If you have misused your life and spent most of it indulging in unhelpful actions and being consumed by clinging desire, anger or aversion and unawareness, at the time of death you may be terrified. You are not going to be able to calm your mind, and it will run riot. It may be that you imagine all kinds of scary situations and will be afraid of losing your family and friends. You may even worry about the money you are leaving behind. It is not possible to relive your life once you reach death, even if you are full of regret and remorse, so don’t allow yourself to get to that point.
Spend some time reflecting on these points, as they will help you understand impermanence and let go of your clinging attachments.
This blog is based on my book ‘Life’s Meandering Path’- available from Amazon and Kindle.
If you would like to become a supporter of Buddhism Guides work, such as podcasts, blogs, videos and guided meditation practices, please visithere. You can support for as little as $2 a month.
The more we get caught up in negative patterns of behaviour and mental states, the more they become engrained. This means they become stored in our subconscious, and we act in certain ways without consciously thinking and we become overwhelmed by our mental states, such as anger, jealousy, pride, without noticing it.
It is said that most people spend 70% of their lives living in the survival mode, the fight or flight mode, which means they are living in stress. They are always anticipating the worst-case scenario, based on a past experience, selecting the worst possible outcome and beginning to emotionally embrace it with fear and conditioning their mind into a state of fear.
This conditioning becomes a pattern of behaviour, a habit, which is a set of automatic unconscious thoughts, behaviours and emotions that’s acquired through repetition. A habit is when you’ve done something so many times your mind now knows how to do it unconsciously.
If these habits, behaviours, and mental states are positive and helpful, there’s no problem. But if they are negative and counterproductive, they can cause us untold problems. We need to be aware of our actions and mental states, so we can make changes, and become the best version of ourselves. It will also ensure we have a peaceful state of mind and find true inner happiness.
We can start to change by following the process I have called ‘Eliminate what is holding you back.’ This consists of seven steps, which are realisation, study, conviction, determination, action, effort, and time.
Realisation: we first need to realise our actions and mental states are causing us, and others, to suffer. This is a key point because if we don’t know we are sick, we won’t go to the doctor. So, if we are unaware of negative behaviours and mental states, we will not try to find a solution.
Buddha’s very first teaching was the four noble truths, and the first truth is life brings about suffering. He then talked about the causes and the path out of suffering. So, to be able to make changes in our life we need to first understand that things do not have to be like they are. There is a better way to live our lives. That is the realisation we are looking for here.
We have to become aware if we are living in the survival mode or the creation mode. The survival mode is the fight or flight mode, and the creation mode is the rest and digest mode.
Living in stress is living in survival. Now, all of us can tolerate short term stress but when we turn on the stress response and we can’t turn it off, we are headed for disease because no organism in nature can live in emergency mode for an extended period of time.
living in creation is when we are conscious of our actions, behaviours, and mental states. It is when we can make changes and become the best possible version of ourselves. We begin to utilise our huge frontal lobe, which is 40% of our entire brain and it’s where we plan, organise, become productive and creative. So, living in creation means using our frontal lobe to make conscious choices to change.
Firstly, we need to understand when we are in survival and when we are in creation mode. Once we understand the damage we are doing to ourselves and people around us by following old patterns of behaviour, we can start the process of change.
To bring awareness to our lives it is important we remain with a calm mind. Here are 10 ways we can easily do that.
Study: now we need to learn about how we can change, such as learning about impermanence to stop our attachment to people and things or learn antidotes to our anger. Studying is going to show us that there is light at the end of the tunnel. It is going to help us move on to the next stage of this process. It will also help us to keep our goals and aspirations realistic. So, I would suggest you study Buddha’s foundation teachings, especially the four noble truths.
Do not over study, as that will make the process of change an intellectual one, which it certainly is not. We need to study so we can practice and not just to make ourselves more intelligent. So, we need to strike the right balance between study and practice.
Conviction: we then need to be convinced that what we have studied will work. This will give us hope that the change will help us become the best possible version of ourselves. If we have doubt, it will stop our conviction. So, doubt needs to be cleared up during the study stage. There is nothing wrong with doubt but left unattended it will sit in our minds like a poison. It will hold us back. So, clearing up any doubts will give us the conviction to move on.
It is at this stage we have some type of expectations. We need to be careful here. If our expectations are too high, we are going to set ourselves up to fail, and none of us like failure. If our expectations are too low, we will not be challenged and will not work hard to achieve our true potential.
Determination: we need to be determined to carry on no matter what obstacles appear. We will probably come up against these five at sometime during our journey on the path.
Sensory desire: seeking pleasures through our five senses. This
means we would become distracted, and our focus will be disturbed.
Resentment: feelings of hatred and bitterness.
Laziness: our actions will be half-hearted and lack focus.
Worry: our energy will not be focused, and our minds will not be calm.
Doubt: if we didn’t clear up our doubts at an earlier stage or new doubts appear, we will lack conviction.
This is why we require determination, as that will motivate us.
Psychologists talk about three types of motivation, namely biological needs that must be met for survival; stimulation and information; need for success, power, and status. But I am talking about a spiritual motivation, which is not based on worldly pursuits but in pursuit of higher goals, such as compassion, inner happiness, peace of mind, kindness, and spiritual development.
Action: Before we can learn new patterns of behaviour, we must unlearn the old patterns, which means, before we relearn, we have to break the habit of the old self, so we can reinvent the new self.
The best way to start this process is during meditation. We need to sit down, close our eyes, focus on the breath, and disconnect from our outer environment. This means we will be having less sensory information going to the brain, so there’s less stimulation. We have to inform the brain that we will answer the emails, post on social media, eat lunch, watch Netflix after the meditation, but for now, we are just sitting.
During this time our mind will want to go back to its emotional past, it’s old way of thinking, and we will become aware that our attention is on those emotions and thoughts. Our minds are taking us out of the present moment and back into the past. Every time we become aware that we’re doing that, and our minds are craving those thoughts and emotions, we bring our awareness back to the breath and settle it back down into the present moment.
If we keep doing this repeatedly, just like we are training a dog to sit, the mind will eventually surrender and just sit.
We can then mentally isolate different aspects of our negative behaviour or mental states and engage in a dialogue between the person you are and the person you wish to be. The negative behaviour is rooted in our subconscious mind, so actually the dialogue is between our conscience and subconscious mind. The more we bring our subconscious into the conscious, the more we will change.
For example, we may be a person that becomes angry very easily. So, during meditation, we look at what triggers our anger, what it feels like when we are angry, imagine what others feel like when we are angry towards them and so on. That is our old pattern of behaviour. Now, look at the person we want to become. A person that does not react to the triggers, that feels good because they are not constantly angry and a person that does not harm others with their anger. This will, after some time, become our new way of acting and feeling.
Our lives are not going to change very much if we keep having the same thought process, as that just leads to the same choice, the same choice leads to the same behaviour, the same behaviour creates the same experience, and the same experience produces the same results. So, the act of becoming more aware of how we think, how we act, and how we feel is called metacognition. That is important because the more conscious we become of those unconscious states of mind, the less likely we’re going to go unconscious during the day and those old thought patterns are not going to slip by our awareness unchecked.
So, the more we become familiar with the thoughts, the behaviours, and the emotions of the old self we’re retiring, the more we wire new thoughts and condition the mind into a new emotional state.
Effort: we need effort and commitment to keep moving forward, no matter how difficult or frustrating the process becomes. We all know change is not easy.
Once we start to make a different choice, we don’t feel the same way. Our mind is telling us we have been doing this for so many years and it’s going into the unknown, and that’s scary. It will try it’s hardest to return to familiar territory. It starts to try and influence us by telling us we can start tomorrow. If we give in and listen to the mind we will never change, as the same thought will lead to the same choice, and we slip back into old patterns of behaviour.
This is why we need to put in great effort, so we can override the old way of being and build a new, more beneficial way of being.
Time: this is an extremely slow process, and we shouldn’t expect quick results. Change is never going to come easy, so we need to constantly remind ourselves that we are in this for the long-haul.
Rome wasn’t built in a day and our patterns of behaviour and mental states will not miraculously change overnight.
So, in a nutshell, if we want to change, we first need to realise there is a better way to live our lives. This will then encourage us to study and find out what that change looks like and how we can make that change a realisation. We then need to have conviction and determination, so we do not get side-tracked. After that, we need to put what we have learned into action, and we do this through meditation. Finally, we need to put in an enormous amount of effort and time, so we get the results we desire.
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All compounded things in the world are changeable. They are not lasting. Work hard to gain your own liberation. Practice diligently.
These are Buddha’s last words and the first part reminds us that all compounded things are impermanent. If we keep this in mind we will not get attached to things, which in turn will reduce our suffering.
The second part, which is the most interesting, says we should work towards our own liberation. Here the word liberation means an end to our suffering. This means we have to look within, take responsibility for our own actions and do the hard work ourselves.
It does not say liberation can be found outside of us, we should blame karma for what is happening in our lives or we have to hand our liberation over to some guru.
I believe we need teachers to help us along the path, but ultimately, we have to decide ourselves what path suits us best and which parts of Buddhism we decide to follow. It doesn’t mean we have to take on other people’s culture or superstitions. We also must decide how much time we devote to that path. The ball is in our court and no one can end our suffering for us.
The final part says that we should practice diligently. It is of very little benefit to simply understand Buddha’s teaching intellectually. They have to be practiced with great effort.
We have to firstly understand the power of the three poisons – clinging desire, aversion/attachment and delusion. Then we need to ensure oou minds are not clouded by these poisons. That is our starting point and something we need to be aware of throughout this path.
We need to fully understand the four noble truths and implement them into our lives. This is a lifetimes work and not something to be taken lightly. The eightfold path, which is the fourth of the truths, is a something we need to constantly ensure we are following.
Meditation is an extremely important part of Buddhism and I would encourage you to learn and practice each day. Mindfulness is also important, even though, the word has been totally misused of late, the four foundations are important to understand and practice.
There are many things in our lives that can bring us suffering and Buddha pinpointed eight of them in the teaching called the eight worldly concerns. Again, it is important to ensure we are not being led astray by these concerns.
Compassion is important in all religions and Buddhism is no exception. But Buddhism does not just talk about that. In the four immeasurables, Buddha spoke about equanimity, kind-heartedness, compassion, and open-hearted joy. All of these help us breakdown the barriers we erect between different types of people.
One of the most difficult to understand but without doubt, one of the most important, is the concept of non-self. We spend so much of our time building our identities and so find it difficult to appreciate that there is no solid, permanent and independent self. I would encourage you to revisit this teaching regularly, so you can slowly understand its importance.
I wish you all the best on your Buddhist journey and hope that these fourteen teachings have helped you in some small way.
I will leave the last word to Buddha:
‘I say to you that these teachings of which I have direct knowledge and which I have made known to you — these you should thoroughly learn, cultivate, develop, and frequently practice, that the life of purity may be established and may long endure, for the welfare and happiness of the multitude, out of compassion for the world, for the benefit, wellbeing, and happiness of all beings.’
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