Mangala Sutra – Part Five

The following principles are all concerned with characteristics and patterns of behaviour we should all try to cultivate.

Diligent

Buddha’s last words were along the lines of ‘attain the goal by diligence’. Now he could have said some inspiring words about enlightenment, rebirth, or karma, but he chose to give us some advice instead, and that advice stated that we should be diligent in our practice because that is the way we will be able to reduce our suffering and the suffering of others.

Buddha mentioned in one of his discourses that there are five things we should reflect on regularly, and I believe if we do, we will be able to stay diligent in whatever practice we follow. This is because we will be seeing things as they are and not through rose-coloured spectacles. The five things we should reflect on regularly are:

  1. I am subject to ageing.
  2. I am subject to illness.
  3. I am subject to death.
  4. I will grow separate from all that is dear and appealing to me.
  5. I am the owner of my actions, heir to my actions.

The first three—ageing, sickness, and death—are very apparent in our daily lives, and so should be easy to reflect on.

Why does number 4 say, ‘I will grow separate from all that is dear and appealing to me’? It is because nothing is permanent and everything changes, so family, friends and loved ones will not be with us forever. Also, the material things we cherish so much are impermanent and so will not last. If we reflect on this point, it will stop us from becoming attached to people and things.

Number 5 is talking about cause and effect. Remember that our actions are like an echo and will return to us at a later stage. Reflection on this point will help ensure that our actions are kind, helpful and blameless.

Reflecting on all of these will help you remain diligent. I have these five remembrances printed out and stuck on my door. Every time I see them it reminds me to reflect on them. 

Humble

Be Humble

I always feel that a humble person is easy to be around. They do not waste time bragging about what they have, who they are, or where they have been. They play down their achievements and are more attentive to others’ needs.

The opposite of this is someone who is proud and conceited. These are not attractive traits. It is difficult for me to spend much time with someone who boasts. They are only interested in selling themselves and have no interest in who you are or what you think or know.

I have always found people with pride to also have the biggest egos—and usually the biggest mouths to go with them. But a humble person is quiet, respectful, and attentive. Which one would you rather be around? Which one would you rather be?

Another trait of proud and conceited people is that they are not open-minded nor willing to learn from others, as they think they already know everything. Now, this is something we have to guard against while moving along this spiritual path. If we start to think we are making great progress and are already better than the people around us, we are going to run up against obstacles, such as pride.

We have to stay open-minded. Just because we know a way to do something, it doesn’t mean another person doesn’t know a better or easier way. We shouldn’t assume we know best. Humble people will continue to learn throughout their lives.

Once we become proud and egotistical, it is very hard to subdue these emotions. So, it is better not to travel down that road in the first place.

We have to also be mindful of people praising us. They may be flattering you because of your position or they want something. However, it may be that you are worthy of praise, but be careful: our ego loves to be praised, and it may lead to pride if we are not mindful.

So, what are the causes of pride? There are many, but two main causes are dualistic thinking and an inflated sense of self.

When people think in a dualistic way, it can stir up pride because they start thinking I am good and others are bad; I’m handsome, they are ugly; I’m intelligent and they are stupid. It is this type of thinking that causes us to fixate on ‘I am this’, ‘I am that’. We start to emphasise the sense of self, which leads us to become attached to who we think we are. Both of these lead to pride and conceit. In the Nipata Sutra, Gautama Buddha stated this:

‘By being alert and attentive, he begins to let go of cravings as they arise. But whatever he begins to accomplish, he should beware of inner pride. He must avoid thinking of himself as better than another, or worse or equal, for that is all comparison and emphasises the self’.

‘The Thirty-seven Practices of a Bodhisattva’ advises us how we should act, even if we are rich or famous:

Even when you are famous, honoured by all and as rich as the god of wealth himself, know that success in the world is fleeting and don’t let it go to your head—this is the practice of a bodhisattva.

(Translation by Ken McLeod from his book Reflections on Silver River. A bodhisattva, as explained in this excellent book, is a person who lives and breathes compassion.)

It is clear that humility is a trait we have to work at, or we could find ourselves getting wrapped up in pride. The pride I am talking about here is our overinflated sense of self. It is not the pride we have for our children, loved ones and so on, which stems from love and compassion, this overinflated sense of self pride stems from our ego.

Content

Oh, to be content. If only we could, but it seems human beings have a natural urge to never be content. Or can we? We have to look at what is need and what is greed. I think we can satisfy our need, but we will never satisfy our greed.

What we need is food, clothes, work, money, shelter, and human contact. These bring us security and are things we can satisfy to some degree.

What we want is the latest cell phone, expensive clothes, big cars, huge houses, exotic holidays—in short, we want to not only fit in with society, but we also want to stand out.

We have to train ourselves to know when enough is enough. If we just blindly follow our desire to want more, we will never be content. We have to think carefully to see if we really need something or are we just trying to buy happiness. That is a fool’s game. If we buy something to be happy, it will not last. As soon as a new version comes out or the thing breaks, we will become unhappy and discontented. To try and buy happiness is like drinking saltwater to quench your thirst—it will only lead to dissatisfaction. Just think that if you could buy happiness, all rich people would be totally content, but they are not. They are just like the rest of us, always searching for something to make them happier.

The desire to want more and more brings us anxiety, worry and stress, whereas contentment can bring us peace of mind and calmness. The fear of losing our happiness leads us to frantically search for more happiness. What we see is that people are unable to be content with themselves or what they have. They are constantly craving new things, but once they obtain them, they suffer from loss, dissatisfaction, and discontent. When they cannot obtain the thing of their desire, they become sad and angry, disappointment and despair sets in. There are two main reasons for this type of suffering. One is our inability to be content with the present moment. The other is when we make our happiness dependent on someone or something outside us. Our discontent leads us to have more desires in the hope of escaping these types of suffering.

A note of caution: we shouldn’t take contentment to mean we don’t have to put in the effort to better ourselves—of course we do. We have to find our own level of contentment and once we do, it will be better than any wealth or material belongings.

Buddha says in the Dhammapada:

            ‘…contentment is the greatest wealth’.

Grateful

Gratitude

This means to be thankful for and remember the help others have given us. We should also try our best to pay back any help we have received when the person who has helped us needs it.

Buddha stated:

‘These two people are hard to find in the world. Which two? The one who is first to do a kindness, and the one who is grateful for a kindness done and feels obligated to repay it. These two people are hard to find in the world’.

These days people seem to have very short memories where being grateful is concerned. Gratitude is a virtue we should do our best to cultivate.

That is the first part of this principle. The second part involves the original Pali meaning. It has been translated as gratitude, but this doesn’t quite cover it. It literally means that you know what someone has done for your benefit. So instead of it being an emotional thing as gratitude is usually seen to be—for example, we say things like ‘I feel grateful’—the literal meaning makes it more intellectual. This translation seems to involve an element of knowledge; we know what has been done for our benefit. If we don’t know what has been done for us, we will not be grateful.

This is an important point because it takes in the interconnectedness of everything. If we just sit down and eat our dinner without being aware of what we are eating, who planted and harvested it, who packaged and delivered it and so on, we will not be grateful. Being grateful is connected with an awareness of the world around us, how it works, and who is doing what to benefit us.

So, it isn’t just a point of being grateful; we also have to been mindful of the interconnectedness of the world.

Patient

As the saying goes, ‘patience is a virtue’, and it certainly is. It can also be an antidote to anger and hatred.

I had one teaching where the teacher explained a jug is filled drop by drop. That struck a chord with me, because it made me realise things are achieved slowly. Whenever I started to get impatient, I would recall those words, and that helped me to calm down.

Although patience in itself is a virtue, it also shows that you have other virtues as well, such as forgiveness, tolerance and forbearance. It further shows that you have concern for other people and their views, you have compassion towards others, and you have an open mind. A lot is attached to this simple word.

So, what is patience? It is unconditionally accepting what is happening right now in the present moment. When you lack patience, you are rejecting the present moment, substituting some future moment from your imagination, thinking that this future moment will help solve the imagined problem with the present moment. So, patience is an emotion and we can only feel it when we are present in the moment.

Some people believe that by meditating we will be able to stop all of our emotions and feelings from arising. This is a common misunderstanding in Buddhism. It is impossible to stop our emotions and feelings from arising, and why would we want to? However, we can at least be aware of them when they do arise. This way we will be able to let them be and not just blindly follow them. I am going to digress a little bit here to tell you a story about stopping your emotions.

I once read a book written by a Western lama who was recounting the day of 9/11. He said that he was so far into his practice that he had no emotions when watching the plane fly into the tower. He didn’t feel that it was good or bad. He didn’t feel anything.

I am not sure I believe him. If we were able to fully stop our emotions, we would just become a cabbage. If I thought Buddha’s teachings were going to do that to me, I would stop practicing straightaway. If a teacher promises you that his practice can stop your emotions, run as fast as you can. What we are looking for is an understanding of what triggers emotions and have an antidote ready for when they arrive. We have to face up to them and not try to transcend them. Emotions help us see right from wrong and pleasure from pain. By removing them we are removing a built-in value system. This value system has been built up over the years from our experiences, and even though these experiences are filtered through our view of the world, they are still a valuable tool for us to distinguish what is socially acceptable.

If we are impatient, we have to work out why that is. It is usually because we are trying to multitask, or we have set ourselves an impossibly tight schedule or we think we know better than others. We may be feeling anxious, unhappy, or worried and not even know that it is because of impatience. It really does help to be aware, so you are able to look for patterns and triggers, and then work on an antidote.

What we have to realise is that if we want to develop patience, we must have a change of attitude. This takes time, so at first when you start to feel impatient, try doing the three breath-calming techniques I mentioned in Chapter One. That will help you relax and let go of what is causing you to be impatient. Then start to work through your impatience at your daily review sessions.

Communicator

Knowing how to give and listen to advice are two skills you will need on your spiritual path. You may be a seasoned practitioner and people come to you for advice. So, you need to know how to advise people in a helpful and constructive way. You may be new to Buddha’s teachings and ask someone for advice, so you will have to know how to listen in a way that is going to be beneficial to you. Giving and listening skills are a must.

Let’s begin by looking at listening to advice. The first thing we need to understand is that there is a difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is an auditory process, whereas listening we do with our mind and heart. When we hear a sound, we register it but don’t necessarily engage with it. However, when we listen to something or someone, we register it, give it some thought and have some opinion on it.

So listening is a much more powerful tool. Obviously, when we are listening, our views and feelings come to the surface, but don’t rush into forming any opinions. Let people finish whatever they are saying. Give it a chance to sink in. It is human nature to be forming a response whilst someone is talking, resist this, as it will mean you are not fully taking on board what is being said. Stay focused.

Once you have listened to advice, ask questions if you have any doubt. If you walk away with doubt it will grow over time, so deal with it as it arises. Don’t just listen to confirm what you already think. Listen to discover something new, something to shake you up and challenge your preconceptions.

A final thought: when we speak, we are saying something we already know, but when we listen we may be learning something new.

Buddha stating how to judge if our speech is right or not:

‘It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good- will’.

We have to be sure our advice is given at the right time; what we say is true; it is spoken in a kind and caring way; it is going to help the person; and it is not spoken out of ill will. Remember, the way you say something can make a world of difference.

If someone comes to you for advice, the first thing you have to acknowledge is that you do not know everything. You should be honest. If you don’t know the answer, say so. Do not lead someone down the garden path just because of your pride—be humble and truthful!

Don’t judge people. The question they ask you may seem basic to you, but to them it is important, or they wouldn’t be asking it. Make sure your advice is given in a warm and affectionate way.

When we give advice, we have to be sure we keep expectations realistic. Don’t promise things you cannot deliver, such as an end to rebirth or enlightenment. Make sure what you say is beneficial and not misleading.

Finally, we must never give advice when our mind is poisoned by bitterness. If you have nothing helpful to say, don’t say anything.

Although listening to advice and giving advice may be very different things, there are similarities, the main one being that they can both be driven by ego. Once we let ego take over our listening, we are going to filter everything through our narrow world view. This is going to stop us from truly listening, and this in turn will stop us from learning. If we let our advice stem from ego, it is going to be tinged with pride and a sense of superiority. So, keep a tight rein on your ego!

This blog is based on my book ‘Life’s Meandering Path’- available from Amazon and Kindle.

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Appreciating What We Have

We human beings tend to focus on what we want or what we don’t want, but very rarely take time to appreciate what we have. Conscious gratitude is a simple way for us to count our blessings, build relationships and help strengthen our mental and physical wellbeing.

Gratitude is an attitude. Gratitude is a choice. And gratitude is a habit. When we consciously practice being grateful for what we have we begin to strengthen our mental wellbeing.

Stopping from time to time and thinking of what we are grateful for rewires our brain to recognise positive aspects of life more easily and frequently and feel positive emotions more often. Daily feelings of gratitude are associated with life satisfaction, optimism, subjective well-being, positive affect, and happiness. Essentially, grateful people are happier.

Gratitude is about cultivating a sense of being thankful for the little and large things in our lives. We can be thankful for people, situations and even our possessions. It’s also about a willingness to show this appreciation. It is a habit, a skill, and it takes practice.

Gratitude is a great first step towards reframing unhelpful thoughts, particularly if you have a tendency towards negativity. But don’t think it will stop you feeling any negative emotions or experiencing negative thoughts, it won’t, because these are an important part of being human.

Gratitude helps with stress management and overall mental wellbeing. It can help build emotional resilience, so can even be an extra support during challenging times. There’s even evidence that gratitude behaviours can change areas of the brain and fire up reward pathways, releasing serotonin and dopamine, which are our feel-good drugs. It can also help build a connection with other people, through showing and telling people that you are grateful for them.

Here are some ways that gratitude helps us:

Protects Against Depression and Boosts Happiness

Studies show that practicing gratitude curbs the use of words expressing negative emotions and shifts inner attention away from such negative emotions such as resentment and envy, minimising the possibility of ruminating.

Reduces Stress and Anxiety

People who make an effort to be more appreciative seem to do better at dealing with adversity and facing tough decisions or situations because they focus on the positives and see challenges as useful lessons and even gifts, rather than as curses.

Research suggests a gratitude practice can increase psychological resilience against chronic stress, anxiety, , post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and unhappiness. When reflecting on the positive elements of the past and present, people are more prone to being hopeful and optimistic.

Improves Relationships

Expressing gratitude often makes people feel more connected to something bigger than themselves. Being thankful for your life also makes it less likely that you’ll experience envy, cynicism and narcissism, which can all damage relationships and decrease happiness.

Helps Encourage Healthier Choices/Self-Care

There’s evidence suggesting that gratitude can have long-lasting positive effects when it comes to promoting healthy choices — such as eating a well-balanced diet, exercising, getting enough sleep, staying on top of work-related tasks, and so on. When you feel grateful for your life and the relationships in it, you’re more likely to take better care of yourself.

Can Help Improve Sleep and Physical Health

In studies, gratitude has been shown to foster both physical and psychological health, meaning it may help decrease chronic pain, tension, fatigue, sleep issues like insomnia and other symptoms tied to stress and anxiety.

Overall, research suggests that grateful people are less prone to experiencing sleep troubles tied to stress and may also benefit from having stronger immune systems.

I think it is clear, gratitude is good for us in so many ways. So, how can we go about practicing them? You could use a gratitude journal, think of one thing you are grateful for when you wake up in the morning or the last thing at night, stop several times during the day to reflect on what you are grateful for right at that moment or you could do a gratitude meditation, such as the one below.

Experiencing Gratitude

Sit quietly with your back straight and body relaxed.

Do the following breathing exercise Breath in as deeply as you can – hold the breath – and now push all the air out – breath in deeply – hold – push the air out – breath in deeply – hold – push all the air out.

Now breath normally.

Gently place your awareness on your breath entering and leaving your body. Don’t force it – just relax into it. Become aware of your breath becoming slower, smoother, and more comfortable.

(30 seconds)

 Now I want you to think of a person you are grateful for. Whoever it is, bring them into the forefront of your mind.

(30 seconds)

How does this gratitude make you feel?

(30 seconds)

What body sensations are you experiencing?

 (30 seconds)

Sit with this experience for a moment. Let yourself be engulfed by your feelings, emotions and body sensations. Don’t just think about it, fully experience it.

(30 seconds)

Now I want you to think of a situation you are grateful for. Whatever it is, bring the situation into your mind.

(30 seconds)

How does this gratitude make you feel?

(30 seconds)

What body sensations are you experiencing?

(30 seconds)

Sit with this experience for a moment. Let yourself be engulfed by your feelings, emotions and body sensations. Don’t just think about it, fully experience it.

(30 seconds)

Now I want you to think of a possession you are grateful for. Whatever it is, bring that possession into the forefront of your mind.

(30 seconds)

How does this gratitude make you feel?

 (30 seconds)

What body sensations are you experiencing?

(30 seconds)

Sit with this experience for a moment. Let yourself be engulfed by your feelings, emotions and body sensations. Don’t just think about it, fully experience it.

(30 seconds)

Now, slowly open your eyes and gently introduce yourself back into the world.

As you can see there are many ways to express and practise gratitude, so pick the one that resonates the most with you.

Before we finish, I want to ask you, ‘What one thing are you grateful for today?’

You can read more blogs, listen to podcasts, watch videos and practice guided meditations on the Buddhism Guide app. Available from the Apple Store and Google Play. You can also visit my website.

If you would like to become a supporter of Buddhism Guides work, such as podcasts, blogs, videos and guided meditation practices, please visit here. You can support for as little as $2 a month.

Finding Your True Self in Nature

The clearest way into the universe is through a forest wilderness – John Muir

There is no doubt we have all being going through some challenging times recently due to the pandemic. This has taken a toll on our mental wellbeing. But it cannot all be blamed on the pandemic. There are many other facts at play, such as where we live, how much time we spend on our devices and if we venture outside or not. Here are some facts that may surprise you.

  • 50% of the world’s population live in urban areas – the largest percentage in human history. That’s not all, it is due to increase to 70% by 2050. In Japan it is already 80%.
  • It has been estimated the average American, over their lifetime, will spend the equivalent of 44 years looking at their devices.
  • The average American now spends more than 90% of their time indoors.
  • 792 million people are affected by mental health issues worldwide.

Mental health is a complex topic and not one I am qualified to delve into. But I do have a suggestion about how we can increase our mental wellbeing, and that is to spend more time in nature.

Nature gives our brains time to reset from the hectic pace of modern life and gives our mental health a well-deserved boost. Being outdoors can reduce your stress levels, help fight anxiety and depression, boost your mood, improve your immune function, provide relaxation and rehabilitation, and of course, give us the exercise we all need.

Forest therapy is one way of getting our mental health hit. It has been scientifically proven trees have many healing properties. The healingforest.com state:

Certain trees like conifers emit oils and compounds to protect themselves from microbes and pathogens. These are called Phytoncides, and they are good for our immunity. So, spending time with these trees is a special form of Forest Therapy.

Adopt the pace of nature. Her secret is patience – Ralph Waldo Emerson

While we are in the forest, we can do some forest meditation, which is a way of finding calm and balance with the help of nature. In traditional meditation, we withdraw our senses and focus inward to reach a state of inner peace. While in forest meditation we open our senses to experience the peace that exists in nature and deepen our realization.

The mind gets blown around like a leaf in the wind. That makes it hard to control and even harder to predict. Especially during challenging times. Our thought process becomes confused and negative. Therefore, forest meditation is essential for our mental wellbeing.

Here are some suggestions for forest meditation:

Gratitude Stroll

Go into a forest and walk at a medium to slow pace for about 20 minutes. While walking, focus your attention on nature and your breath. You may like to alternate between slow and slightly faster walking.

Slow walking fosters a heightened state of awareness, calm, and connection with the natural world. Medium to fast walking relieves stress and energizes the body. No matter how you walk, make sure you pause along the way to notice the small wonders of nature, such as birds, insects, wildflowers, and of course, the trees.

As you marvel at the wonders of nature create a feeling of gratitude. Feel grateful to be in nature, for all the plants, trees, and animals, and above all, to be alive. By focusing your attention on things that fill you with gratitude, you can shift your mind from any negativity or pessimistic thoughts.

Circle of Awareness

A wonderful practice to do in the forest is to sit down and create a circle in your imagination. Now become aware of everything in the circle; plants, flowers, leaves, twigs, insects, and anything else you can see.

Then slowly make your circle bigger and bigger. If your mind starts to wander, simply bring it back to the circle.

This practice will help you to fully engage with the forest, and maybe even learn a thing or two.

Using Your Senses

Find a quiet place in the forest and sit on the ground. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and begin to feel grounded.

Become aware of your environment by focusing on one sense at a time. Notice the forest sounds, and also notice the silence in-between the sounds. Touch the ground with both of your hands. What can you feel? Smell the different forest aromas. Tune into your body. Put your hands over your heart and feel your heartbeat. Now just sit there with a sense of gratitude, peace, and calm. When you’re ready to open your eyes, open them slowly and take a good look around you. Sit there for as long as you wish, just soaking up the beauty of the forest.

Forest Breathing

Find a quiet place in the forest, take off your shoes and stand barefoot on the forest floor. Focus on your breath without changing it. Just allowing it to find its own natural rhythm. Keep your spine straight but not too rigid. Become aware of any sensations in your legs, ankles, and feet. Stand for a few minutes until you feel stable.

Then, move your awareness slowly up from the feet to the top of your head. Notice if there’s tension, stress, or stiffness in any part of your upper body. Take a deep breath, pause for a few seconds, and then exhale. Repeat this for around 3 minutes or for as long as you wish. Imagine the forest air relaxing your body with every in-breath and your mind calming down with every outbreath.

When you have finished, sit on the forest floor, and ground yourself. Check-in with how you are feeling and be grateful for being in nature.

The Wind on Your Face

Stand still and lift your face upwards slightly. Notice the feeling of the wind on your skin. Then lift your arms in the air and notice the wind on your hands and fingers. Then pick other parts of your body and become aware of the wind gently blowing over your skin. Try not to judge or change anything, simply observe.

Spend about one minute on each area feeling a deep connection with the motion of the air.

I used to do this practice when I lived by the sea. On windy days you would find me on the cliff edge feeling the wind on my face.

You’ll never really see the sunset until you throw open the curtains, swing open the door, step outside, and experience it – Jessica Marie Collins

We humans are animals and as such our true home is in nature. We were never meant to live in houses, drive cars or fly in planes. So, do yourself a favour and go back to your roots.  

You can read more blogs, listen to podcasts, watch videos and practice guided meditations on the Buddhism Guide app. Available from the Apple Store and Google Play. You can also visit my website.

If you would like to become a supporter of Buddhism Guides work, such as podcasts, blogs, videos and guided meditation practices, please visit here. You can support for as little as $2 a month.

Cultivating Virtuous Qualities

I believe there are three qualities everyone should cultivate. Not just for our own benefit, but also for the benefit of everyone we come into contact with. The three qualities are being humble, contented, and grateful.

Setting Pride Aside: Humility

I personally feel more at ease in the company of humble people. They do not waste time bragging about what they have, who they are, or where they have been. They play down their achievements and are more attentive to others’ needs.

The opposite of this is true for proud and conceited people. It is a challenge for me to spend much time with someone who boasts. They are only interested in selling themselves and seem to have no interest in who you are or what you think or know.

I have always found people with pride to also have the biggest egos — and usually the biggest mouths to go with them. But a humble person is quiet, respectful, and attentive. Which one would you rather be around? Which one would you rather be?

We must stay open-minded at all times. Just because we know a way to do something doesn’t mean another person doesn’t know a better or easier way. We shouldn’t assume we know best. Humble people will continue to learn throughout their lives.

So, what are the causes of pride? There are many, but two main causes are dualistic thinking and an inflated sense of self.

When people think in a dualistic way, it can stir up pride because they start thinking “I am good and others are bad,” “I am handsome and they are ugly,” or “I am intelligent and they are stupid.” It is this type of thinking that causes us to fixate on “I am this, I am that.” We start to emphasize the sense of self, which leads us to become attached to who we think we are. Both of these lead to pride and conceit. In the Sutta Nipata, Gautama Buddha states:

“By being alert and attentive, he begins to let go of cravings as they arise. But whatever he begins to accomplish, he should beware of inner pride. He must avoid thinking of himself as better than another, or worse or equal, for that is all comparison and emphasizes the self.”

It is clear that humility is a trait we have to work at, or we could find ourselves getting wrapped up in pride. The pride I am talking about here is our overinflated sense of self. It is not the pride we have for our children, loved ones, and so on, which stems from love and compassion — this overinflated sense of pride stems from our ego.

Meditation Practice for Humility

In a meditation session, look at pride and humility. Which one do you lean toward? Think back over the past few days and see what situations stir up pride in you, and which ones make you humble. Only when we become focused on these situations are we able to make changes in ourselves.

Need vs. Greed: Contentment

Oh, to be content. If only we could, but it seems human beings have a natural urge to never be content. Or can we? We have to look at what is need and what is greed. I think we can satisfy our need, but we will never satisfy our greed.

What we need is food, clothes, work, money, and human contact. These bring us security and are things we can satisfy to some degree.

What we want is the latest smartphone, expensive clothes, big cars, huge houses, exotic holidays — in short, we want to not only fit in with society, but we also want to stand out.

We have to train ourselves to know when enough is enough. If we just blindly follow our desire to want more, we will never be content. We have to think carefully to see if we really need something or if we are just trying to buy happiness. That is a fool’s game. If we buy something to be happy, it will not last. As soon as a new version comes out or the thing breaks, we will become unhappy and discontented. To try and buy happiness is like drinking saltwater to quench your thirst — it will only lead to dissatisfaction. Just think, if you could buy happiness, all the wealthy people in the world would be totally content, but they are not. They are just like the rest of us, always searching for something to make them happier.

The desire to want more and more brings us anxiety, worry, and stress, whereas contentment can bring us peace of mind and calmness. The fear of losing our happiness leads us to frantically search for more happiness.

When we cannot obtain the thing of our desire, we become sad and angry; disappointment and despair set in. There are two main reasons for this type of suffering. One is our inability to be content with the present moment. The other is when we make our happiness dependent on someone or something outside us. Our discontentment leads us to have more desires in the hope of escaping this type of suffering.

A note of caution: We shouldn’t take contentment to mean we don’t have to put in the effort to better ourselves — of course we do. We have to find our own level of contentment, and once we do, it will be better than any wealth or material belongings.

As Gautama Buddha says in the Dhammapada, verse 203, “…contentment is the greatest wealth.”

Meditation Practice for Contentment

In a meditation session, look at the following questions:

  • Am I content?
  • Do I have enough to satisfy my needs?
  • Do I chase after happiness in material things?
  • Do new things bring me happiness?
  • How long does it last?

Give all of these points a lot of thought.

Everything Is Interconnected: Gratitude

Gratitude means to be thankful for, and to remember, the help others have given us. We should also try our best to pay back any help we have received if and when the person who has helped us needs it.

In the Dullabha Sutta, it states:

“These two people are hard to find in the world. Which two? The one who is first to do a kindness, and the one who is grateful for a kindness done and feels obligated to repay it. These two people are hard to find in the world.”

Lately, it seems that people have very short memories where being grateful is concerned. Gratitude is a virtue we should do our best to cultivate.

This is only one part of gratitude as far as Buddhism is concerned. The Pali word katannuta has been translated as “gratitude,” but this doesn’t quite cover it. It literally means that you know what someone has done for your benefit. So, instead of it being an emotional thing as gratitude is usually seen to be — for example, we say things like “I feel grateful” — the literal meaning makes it more intellectual. This translation seems to involve an element of knowledge; we know what has been done for our benefit.

This is an important point because it takes in the interconnectedness of everything. If we just sit down and eat our dinner without being aware of what we are eating, who planted and harvested it, who packaged and delivered it, we will not be fully grateful. Being grateful is connected with an awareness of the world around us, how it works, and who is doing what to benefit us.

Meditation Practice for Gratitude

In a meditation session, think about your last meal and follow the process back from your plate to the seed in the ground. Think about all the people involved in the process. It could be a fairly long list. We should be grateful to all of these people because they have benefited us by providing food that we can eat.

It isn’t always easy to set pride aside, focus only on what you truly need, or recognize how everything is interconnected, but it’s worth it to try. Allow yourself the room to learn from past ways of thinking that have kept you separate from the benefits of these essential qualities of humility, contentedness, and gratitude. As you cultivate these virtues, you’ll find you’re giving a gift not only to yourself, but to the world around you.

You can read more blogs, listen to podcasts, watch videos and practice guided meditations on the Buddhism Guide app. Available from the Apple Store and Google Play. You can also visit my website.

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Experiencing Gratitude

Most neuroscientists agree that the left-hand side of our brain is used to interpret the world. It does this through language, categorising and patterns. It is probably through this process that our fictional self is born. The left-brain groups things by some common feature and then treats it as one unit, such as our thoughts, emotions and bodies, which it puts together and labels it ‘self.’

Our right-hand side of the brain doesn’t see things in parts, like the left-brain does, it sees things as a whole and processes the world as a continuum. It doesn’t use language or patterns like the left-hand side, it is more intuitive. It is focused on the present moment and doesn’t split things into past and future, like the left-brain. During deep meditation or deep sleep, we move from our thinking mind into the non-thinking right-hand side. Remember this side sees things as a whole and this is possibly what the ancient masters meant by ‘oneness.’

A neuroscientist had a stroke and for a while lost the use of the whole of her left-hand brain. During this time, she felt enormous gratitude. This shows us that gratitude seems to be inherent and is also a feature of the right-hand brain.   

Why I am mentioning this is because I feel gratitude is more about experiencing the sensations and less about thinking. It is more about being thankful for reality and less about acceptance of it.

A few years back I did a guided meditation called ‘Experiencing Gratitude’ and at the time many people thought it was strange I was asking them to experience it, as they had been so used to expressing it. But I felt that more can be gained by non-verbally feeling gratitude and not merely thinking about it. Neuroscience these days seems to back up that claim.

In modern mindfulness practices we are encouraged to think of three things we are grateful for and that is obviously a good thing, especially if we are stressed or anxious. But once we have brought them to mind, I believe we should feel the sensations in our body and the warmth in our hearts, without judgement, labelling or categorising. In fact, without thinking at all, just feel. Of course, this is not an easy task, but beneficial things never are.

The best way to achieve this is for you to think of something you are grateful for. It may be a person, a place, your health, your life – it really doesn’t matter. Whatever it is, bring it to the forefront of your mind and sit with that thought for a moment. Now, stop thinking about whatever you are grateful for and start fully experiencing the gratitude. Ask yourself these questions, ‘How does this gratitude make you feel?’ and ‘What body sensations are tied up with this gratitude?’ Just sit with your experience of gratitude for a moment. Let yourself be engulfed by your feelings and body sensations. Truly experience what gratitude feels like. I believe this is how we should be working with gratitude.

The more you do this type of practice, the more you will be able to experience gratitude and not just think about it. Give it a try by visiting Buddhism Guide meditations page and listen to the Experiencing Gratitude guided meditation.   

You can read more blogs, listen to podcasts, watch videos and practice guided meditations on the Buddhism Guide app. Available from the Apple Store and Google Play.

If you would like to become a supporter of Buddhism Guides work, such as podcasts, blogs, videos and guided meditation practices, please visit here. You can support for as little as $2 a month.

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